:: PhoenixNoir ::

The Dangers of Being Family

2011-03-09T23:27:00.002+08:00

I don't know.

I just don't know what the f*** is happening.

It's like a Hindustani movie, without the pretty costumes and running around a tree and special effects.

How can two people be so damn toxic? *headdesks repeatedly* Tak pasal pasal can just shoot their mouths like that and expect people to act like nothing happened? And still expect to be waited on hand and foot? How is it possible that such people can breathe the same air as me?

MAN UP HAVE THE BALLS TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY YOU SELFISH SELF-CENTERED GUTLESS PIECES OF FECES.

Disappointment, hurt and anger don't quite match how I feel right now. I feel like pushing you down a flight of stairs and hope you LIVE through it.

With Only The Grace of Allah Can We Learn

2010-11-22T19:48:00.003+08:00

In regards to this heinous comment left by a disbeliever, (http://media.causes.com/949555?m=2cd102e6) this is my reply.

Freedom of speech is no longer truth spoken out loud. To be fair, there may be some things in this world left to be spoken about; genocide, abortions, animal rights...those are valid points in lieu of freedom of speech. But when it comes to condemning a beautiful and amazingly pure religion such as Islam, freedom of speech is viewed rather in bias. When Christianity or Judaism or Buddhism or what of you are condemned, the common reply to that would be slander. It would be vicious condemnation or cruelty towards the religion and when it comes to plaguing Islam, it's freedom of speech?

I digress.

The beauty of this religion, as a Muslimah myself, I am thoroughly well protected. I am covered because Allah wishes not for just anyone to see my beauty. I am at home because Allah wishes for me to be able to take care of my children the best possible way. My husband or father is my caregiver and all I have to do is submit myself to the one and only Allah. Women are promised Jannah by being a dutiful daughter, a humble servant to Allah and a respectful wife. Our only challenge is childbirth.

As stated in the article linked, he mentioned women being stoned and 'raped and discarded when the husband feels like it'. Naudzubillahi min dzalik. Wallahi in all my life, none of the married women I personally knew have ever been subjected to such cruelties. All my sisters in law and my sister are well taken care of by their husbands and masya Allah they are well adjusted, their children perfectly fine.

Needless to say, if you have the absolute need to condemn a religion, the least you could do is get a good research done on it and not just rely on the information you get from one sided documentaries and movies or TV shows that clearly portray a ludicrous version of what Islam truly is.

Wallahu a'lam bissawab.

Apparently I should put in Toxic but I felt this was a better title :)

2010-11-14T02:42:00.001+08:00

RULES :

Put your music library on shuffle.

For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds! Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.

Ok, go!

The answer to #20 is the Title of your note.

1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say

As If (Blaque) - ?

2. How would you describe yourself?

Baby One More Time (Britney Spears) - In my defense, this is the Glee version

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

You're The One I Want (John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John)

4. How do you feel today?

Let It Rock (I don't know who the artist is)

5. What is your life’s purpose?

Taking Chances (Celine Dion) - :)

6. What's your motto?

Black and Gold (Again, no idea who)

7. What do your friends think of you?

Hello (Lionel Ritchie) - Taken out of context, my friends sound like creeps. Sowie y'all. I do love you!

8. What do you think of your parents?

Valentine (Kina Grannis) - Well I do love my parents

9. What do you think about very often

California Gurls (Katy Perry) - o.o

10. What is 2 + 2?

Down (Jay Sean) - yes, four down...many more to go

11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?

Empire State of Mind (Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys) - They don't sleep? Okay..

12. What do you think of the person you like?

SOS (Rihanna) - Yes I need help

13. What is your life story?

Marching On (Timbaland and some group) - I would like to think this does say something about me

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Padamkan Cerita Cintamu (Syed Azmir) - Wow...WHAT??

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

The Show (Lenka) - haha, I think he's a show?

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Total Eclipse of the Heart (Uhm...) - LOL OMG ROFLMAO

17. What will they play at your funeral?

Faithfully (Journey) - I'm forever yoooours, coffin

18. What is your biggest fear?

Introducing Me (Nick Jonas) - I doubt my biggest fear is introducing myself...

19. What is your biggest secret?

Black Sheep (Metric) - This speaks volumes

20. What will you post this as?

Toxic (Britney Spears) - Again, in my defense...Glee crazy!

Squeeee I'm writing again!

2010-09-27T07:06:00.000+08:00

Who knew Liam Neeson could be oh so delicious?

After watching "The A-Team", my view of Bradley Cooper got that much higher. Truth be told, I used to think he was better at being a complete jerk. But movie after movie, Bradley Cooper just becomes better and better. He's played a conniving best friend, a comedic side kick, a backstabbing husband and to add to all this, a very...very hot "Ranger" in the remake of a TV series that I admittedly have never even heard of >.<

Of course, I didn't watch the movie just because it had FOUR billed actors on it [not including a cameo by Jon Hamm]...okay well maybe I did [who knew cutesy Patrick Wilson was funny??] but by the end of the movie, I just couldn't care less about the actors, all I wanted was for Murdock, Face, BA and Hannibal to get out of that damned truck alive.

The lines were so damn funny. I especially liked it when Hannibal says: "Cash don't buy guts kid. On you're short on both." And I liked the camaraderie between Murdock and BA with the former's coconut curry tapenade being the one thing that soothes the savage beast. Oh, with the toast points, of course. We can't forget the toast points. With Hannibal and Face, their almost father son vibe though touched lightly was pretty cute. Patrick Wilson played his role pretty neatly. He had a sort of petulant psychotic thing going for him and it made for great comedy that dude.

I love the execution of the plans from saving Face in Mexico, to the chopper escape, to the money plate heist in Baghdad and right down to exposing Lynch/Burris. And how can I forget the kiss and the key transfer? I liked that one very very much.

Hats off to director Joe Carnahan and to him I say you planned well and "I love it when a plan comes together."

Lawyered. Of Nature

2010-07-15T10:14:00.003+08:00

My last post was...a little over two months ago. The anal retentive in me just had to check. :p

I haven't summed up the energy or focus to write in this blog simply because my life is a mess. Most call me lucky not having anything to do; just laze around at home, get my muscles well atrophied, squashing grapes or 'menganggur' to those who are Malay literate.

The grass is always greener on the other side and for us human beings, we lack faith and grace and humility when it comes to feeling grateful for our own patch of grass. Sure there are times when I can just smile whenever I hear my fellow brothers and sisters complain about their hard day's work and getting peanuts for pay. Sure I can hold it in when someone says I have it easy, just being at home without work to grumble about. But to be perfectly honest, being at home, albeit being surrounded by people I love, isn't all that cracked up to be.

For one, you have WAY too much time to think. Haha, go wise crack about me being able to think somewhere else, thanks. I have a very unsettled mind. I'm unfocused and I'm unwilling to stop thinking. It's like I can have nine thoughts running through my head and it would literally give me a headache. And that's when I'm actually moving around. And now that I have 'time to myself' it is so hard to concentrate on anything and sometimes, I can just lay on my bed, being catatonic.

For the most part, sure I'm absolutely grateful I have no other responsibilities other than say, washing the dishes or doing my own laundry and then there are times when I wish I had something to leave my room for.

I'm twenty-one years old now and I'm unemployed, uneducated and unmarried. If I was living in the 18th century, I would be called obsolete...oh...I still could be called obsolete now? Good to know. Fancy that, I'm obsolete in two centuries.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I do nothing about it. I've tried to look for a job and I found a perfect one but circumstances changed, and I found myself having to give up that perfect job.

Studies? Don't get me started on that. To explain why I can't continue my studies, I'd have to write a book on it. I won't bore you with the details but nothing I want to do, pleases anyone I need to appease.

And marriage? *Chuckles derisively* "Oh yes I'm very interested in you. I'm invested in being with you for the rest of your life." And not even a few months later... "Dude, just met a new girl. She's like way hotter, way better than you you won't believe it." Once is hard enough, let me tell you. But try multiplying it by three. Get my drift? And to those who tell me that any guy would be just damn lucky to have me in their lives, I say to you, you suck. You suck total ducks. If they were 'damn lucky' to have me in their lives, you would think they would try to get in on the action themselves.

Getting my license at this point would be a Godsend but of course...what is my life but one challenge after the other? I am the perfect human example of Sod's Law. Funny that. I'm a sod of law. If the world was Marshall Eriksen, I'd be hearing this: "Lawyered. Of Nature."

Silence!

2010-05-12T00:47:00.002+08:00

You know how sometimes your face mimics how your day has been? You don't mean to but everyone around you will be effected by that sour expression you have. The exasperated sighs you emit. The silent treatment you give out. Sometimes you wish someone would just ask: "How's your day been? I've got a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen." But no one really does, do they?

They want to assume the worst. Some self-deprecating loser would think: "Is it me? Why is she/he giving me the long face? What did I do wrong?" And they will start feeling bad about themselves, throw themselves into the things they wish would make things better but in truth, it really doesn't. That person is going to continue being sour, emitting exasperated sighs and giving you the silent treatment.

So what's the point about trying to make the situation better? Honestly? I have no clue since I am that 'some self-deprecating loser'. I always wonder what would be the one thing to make everything right? I hate being treated like I'm the plague. I suppose I could chalk it up to the fact that people would much rather blow up a mistake rather than accepting an honorable deed. Like...you can do so many good things for someone but they will only remember the one wrong thing you did or didn't do.

The past few years, a lot of things have happened to me. I don't really highlight any of the events here but to skim it over, I have been rejected three times, worked like a dog, treated like an ex-con and the most valuable advice I got for all that is to just suffer through it in silence. And the little things I most appreciate; getting a smile for a good deed done or being appreciated for what good I HAVE done, are the things that people I care about rarely give me.

Some know me as a selfish ungrateful brat and for the most part, it's known to be true. But instead of looking at the good I've done, little things over time, I'm always being measured up to the impossibly high standards or just viewed as that selfish ungrateful brat. One little mistake can be blown out of proportion.

I am expected to suffer in silence, plaster a smile on my face, grit my teeth and continue being the poster child for rejection all at once.

The past few years have basically been one bootcamp after another for me. Heartache after rejection after pain. But I'm suffering in silence of course. How can I not? No one's willing to listen. And the one person who's practically been forced to probably wants me to just shut up.

My oh my...angst all over. *Cracks neck*

What a way to start off 21 eh?

A massive decrease in maturity

2010-05-07T05:46:00.003+08:00

December 3rd was my last post.

December 3rd of last year. * goes to check calendar*

FIVE MONTHS!!

Five months of inactivity!

Update... *snigger* It's so cute how I think people read this blog willingly.

So I *unsurprisingly* put on a LOT of weight over the past months and I have no inclination to lose it because food is so friggen delicious when it's consumed at 6 am in the morning. Especially when no one's looking.

I have *unwillingly* become a lapdog for someone I don't even like. Nothing new really. Just wanted to let people know that Nurul is capable of not liking people.

(Take the time to do a double triple quadruple take. ... Done? Excellent)

I am a year older and ten years more immature. Now see that's not surprising is it? I hardly think so either but just had to make sure people remember that.

My renewed love for Michael Buble makes me tingly all over. Yes, I do believe he does too many covers more than originals but come on...at least he's no Westlife. (Oh no she din't! *whipping sound*)

Random TV show list!

How I Met Your Mother - Ted!! Stop making bad decisions!! Barndoor...oh he cracks me up.

The Big Bang Theory - Make Sheldon smile, make babies cry, make me laugh!

Accidentally On Purpose - BABY!!

Supernatural - Fight already you incestuous comment inducing hotties!

The Vampire Diaries - Elena does not deserve either one of the Salvatore brothers. She just doesn't.

Glee - Make Sue dance more! And pile on the 'You're a Slut' and hair insults for Will Schuester!

Romantically Challenged - Alyssa Milano is coming back as an older version of Sam! How could this ever go wrong? :D

And of course if the date is indicative of anything, it's this. I am expected to act according to an increase of digits in my birth years. I know, tough. But, I'm not going to justify it by being a lazy sloppy baby! I'll try and try I will. As Yoda articulated, Try, there is no do :p (of course I know he didn't say that. That was obviously a line from Star Trek. ^^)

Well...to wrap it all up, it's been an awesome five months. See what I did there? That's sarcasm.

I'm making up a resolution. To stick to the resolutions I have made.

Post number 64...

I can't wait for what I can come up with for my 69th post!

What?

Stale Nachos

2009-12-03T15:47:00.002+08:00

On a lighter note. Saw New Moon today. It monumentally sucked and disappointed. Blergh. Cinematography inches better but execution wise? COULD BELLA SWAN STOP TWITCHING???!!!!

And what is UP with Robert Pattinson's wooden acting??

The bulk of the movie was horrifying. Cheesy lines, cheesier moves and seriously...they need to change Bella's actor. Twitching is NOT by ANY circumstances acting!

They miraculously gave Alice more reeltime so I was quite glad. And Jacob Black. Hello eight pack! I love the wolf pack. The transformation was quite flawless albeit so impossibly CGI. What I was expecting, I don't know but it wasn't so bad :)

Jasper's attack scene, Paul and Jacob's fight scene, Victoria's appearance, the vampire/werewolf 'scuffle', the Volturi scene all captured my attention fully. But other than that, I was just slumped down in my seat muttering to the screen and avoiding glares from tweens who practically filled up the entire 50 seater cinema.

The stale nachos were good though.

Eating Up Your Liver

2009-12-03T15:38:00.002+08:00

Let me preface this with the fact that it doesn't pinpoint to any one individual. Smoking is a bad habit. It pretty much ruined a miraculous chance for a person dear to my heart. I effing hate smoking. I don't necessarily hate the one doing it but if you do have that murderous habit...chances are I don't like you that much.

And most of the smokers I've met all give me the same bull. They try to justify their actions. It doesn't work that way! You just don't effing get it, do you?? It's disgusting. It's deteriorating your innards. It's basically eating your liver bit by bit like a monster who loves to torture its victims. Whatever. I've never been good at euphemisms.

*deep breath*

60 :D

2009-11-13T17:24:00.003+08:00

*blows imaginary dust off blog*

Wah...like...so long gitu haven't updated this blog. Heh. I wonder if I still have readers. Cheh...so perasan. ReaderS. Don't even think people read this blog at ALL.

Nehmind. Anyway!

Updates on my life.

I'm one day away from finishing my diploma :D And I got an A for my grad project Whee!

Moving to JB by THE END OF NEXT YEAR. Why the emphasis? Well. BeCAuse. I haven't packed, I don't want to pack, not that I have a lot to pack anywho, ;) and the house isn't ready yet and there isn't a fixed date WHEN we're moving so yeza.

Are there any heterosexual males out there willing to marry a crazy fat chick just so she could stay in Singapore? I'm rootin for one particular heterosexual male from a certain country somewhere who has issues to settle but right now I am willing to take ANY takers. If you are a woman who wants to marry me, feel free to don a wig and put socks in your drawls and ask muh daddy for my hand. I'LL DO ANYTHING

*clears throat*

Moving on. >.>

I have a niche for [in?] baking apparently. So with my sisters' help, we might start a moving bakery :D THAT will be for Johor. Pergh...Johor. What a taboo word.

I've found people I truly and deeply love unconditionally.

Nak tengok? Wanna see? *Want to see in seven different languages*? [apparently signs are universal]

Aren't they gawjus? Blogverse, meet Amala and Fatima. Stalk them. They deserve it.

I wuv them. I weeli doo.

What other updates...

AH! It's almost the end of the year and you know what? I managed to get four out of eight things on my resolutions list done :D

I won't say which ones BUT one of them has gotten me grinning from ear to ear. *insert creepy laugh*

I need to friggen DRIVE!

60th post :D

My baby!

2009-09-17T09:13:00.002+08:00

*giggle*

hi.

Did you miss me? I highly doubt it. But newsworthy moment right here. I know I didn't even say that the laptop I was using got messed up big time but it did. Cracked in the corner, flowery (gross) design climbing up the side of the laptop screen courtesy of my nose picker and my maggi mee baby.

I have finally acquired a new laptop. Yes. My own. Well...technically mum's since she paid the bulk of it but some actually came from money I had saved up and also money that I got after I sold a bulk of my stuff. No not on eBay. I'm very ancient that way.

Went through the rough and tough of Comex just to get the best price for it. All worth it. Because...unlimited use and Mr C ^^

Currently my nose picker is rolling around between my legs like a cat trying to find a good spot to sleep. And he has my phone so he's quiet.

Back to laptop. Wanna see my new baby?

Isn't he precious? He's my new Mr D.

be mine

2009-08-22T07:50:00.001+08:00

but it's a good excuse to put our love to use
baby i know what to do, baby i will love you
i'll love you, i'll love you.

love, i don't need those things
i don't need no ring
i don't need anything
but you with me, cause in your company
i feel happy oh so happy and complete

Missing you already, Mr C. Have fun reading up :)

It's Coming!!

2009-08-11T19:07:00.002+08:00

Ramadhan's almost coming! I can't wait! FINALLY! One whole month of infinite discoveries, possibilities and being free of our damned enemies.

I love the fact that it's on this one month that I'm able to not succumb too much to my whims and simple pleasures and every year, I have to say, one by one a bit of myself changes Alhamdulillah.

May Allah bless us all this coming Ramadhan my brothers and sisters in Islam. May our hearts be opened and our faiths be restored.

Amin.

Learn to not question it

2009-07-29T01:26:00.003+08:00

Mr C: true. besides, it is your fault for making me go to mush
realityaddicted: i hardly think it's my fault
realityaddicted: who was the one who said it first?
realityaddicted: who was the one who started turning on the charms?
Mr C: who was the person who made the other person do all that? lol
Mr C: wait, did I say it first?
realityaddicted: DUDE
realityaddicted: All I asked was for you to tell me something you haven't told me
Mr C: oh yeah!
Mr C: see
Mr C: your fault!
realityaddicted: how was I supposed to know you were gonna tell me what you told me
realityaddicted: I mean
realityaddicted: I had expected you to tell me that you were afraid of mold or something
Mr C: haha, so I surprised you there
realityaddicted: surprise doesn't even cover it
Mr C: well, I do like surprising you

realityaddicted: Nice
realityaddicted: Something nice about you
realityaddicted: Can't think of anything nice to say about you
realityaddicted: Because....
realityaddicted: You're not nice
realityaddicted: You're my brand of perfection
realityaddicted: You're not nice
realityaddicted: You're amazingly sweet
realityaddicted: You're not nice
realityaddicted: You're everything that's right

realityaddicted: If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them, but if they loved you back they'd never ask you to.
realityaddicted: Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over.
realityaddicted: Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly moving on. Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same.
Mr C: yep, I am a sap. I love those quotes
Mr C: but, I am your sap
realityaddicted: Yes you are
Mr C: the second is my favourite
realityaddicted: yesh i thought it was appropriate
realityaddicted: Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.
Mr C: haha, I like that one
Mr C: where did you get all these?
Mr C: Love is waking up thinking of her, going to bed thinking of her, and spending all day hoping for just a fleeting moment of her time, so for that one moment, life is good.
realityaddicted: the innernet
realityaddicted: that's sweet
realityaddicted: where'd you find THAT
Mr C: well...
Mr C: about one minute ago, I wrote it

Mr C: ok, I am a little bit scared. lol
Mr C: being with you is a bit like being with a mafia girl, I'm starting to think. lol
realityaddicted: well
realityaddicted: Aren't I worth it all?
Mr C: you're worth a lot more

Mr C: so, you don't need me to remind you anymore?
realityaddicted: when have i ever asked you to remind me
Mr C: oh, so you don't need me to say it anymore?
Mr C: good to know
realityaddicted: (roll eyes icon)
Mr C: wise arse

Mr C: you know babe, I'm starting to get the impression
Mr C: that you are very popular, got a lot of people who love you
realityaddicted: eh?
Mr C: the girl who won't get a chance to break my neck, lol, all your friends, other people who are quite happy to put the hurt on me
realityaddicted: uhm...
realityaddicted: ok?
Mr C: it's just reminding me, that if I ever do something stupid and hurt you
Mr C: I should go into hiding
Mr C: lol. I like my various body parts, I don't wish to lose them!

Mr C: but, in my case, it's cause I'm hopeless, and need taking care of. lol

Mr C: nah, I'm not silly
Mr C: I'm yours

Mr C: hey! you know you're my highlight!
realityaddicted: Does that mean I glow?
Mr C: well, you sure do a lot of things.

My daily sitcom.

Well

2009-07-06T16:56:00.002+08:00

I hurt too. I have a heart that can break too. I have feelings that can be hurt too. Even in this situation, there's the reciprocation between two parties.

I can't stress enough on how hurt I am right now. How my heart has broken. And how my feelings are hurting right now.

Yes drama ensues in the life of the drama queen.

On a lighter note. My brother's getting married this Friday. Jubilations abound. No school either :D Hope it goes well.

My Mother, The Celebrity

2009-07-05T00:54:00.002+08:00

Seeing my old school, old mates and old teachers was awkward. Not to mention the fact that I went in there as a guest; I was my grandmother's granddaughter, the legendary first woman principal of Alsagoff apparently. My mother was a celebrity (double giggle) and all I could do was nod and shake hands with her fans, identifying myself as her daughter.

Exclamations of how big I've grown were made ("Yes I stuff myself with oil-laden chips every now and then because my mother loves me. Ha ha."), askance of what I'm doing, when I'll get married and what will I be doing after I'm done with what I'm currently doing were answered and then time to go home.

Oh funny funny bus incident. Only me mum and myself know it and it will never leave my lips. My promise to me mum. Anyone who wants to know go ask my mummy. Don't worry, she won't bite. Much.

Feeling slightly tired right now. Oh eyes. Have you finally adjusted to Mr. C's timing? Great...

Very Freakish Habit

2009-07-03T21:58:00.002+08:00

I
Suck
At
Pool
:p

So today was a fun day. Went out with my two main girls and we had a lot of fun. I lost my voice because of screaming and laughing throughout our time at the snooker cafe.

We were subjected to China guys and Fuddy got checked out by this weird guy who had a very freakish habit of opening his mouth widely. Funny thin was that Fuddy was interested more in his friend; purple guy. Purple guy was keeeeeeeyooooooot!!! :)~

Lala used the pussy stick too much but apparently she likes it so we just let her play with it.

I didn't win. Well I did win once but that was only because Fuddy pocketed the 8 ball too early in the game. Lala and Fuddy basically pwned me

Too tired to think of anything else right now...will possibly cont this tomorrow...MAYbe :D

More Than

2009-06-17T20:44:00.002+08:00

If you're reading this, it's a three part story :D

First is for Mr Jacob, our favorite cracker. :D

So today, Jake decided to go out with our usual group and so KTV was the answer *giggle* invitations were made and then Jacob gave a suggestion to ask Venus and Kat and they all and Jacob rarely invites people so Jing, Fuddy, Jo, me and even Bobby urged him to ask Venus and Kat. Venus was out of the class so it was just Kat and so we prodded him to ask but he refused to do it.

I'm not exactly sure which one of us started it but somehow, all of us started teasing him, telling him that it's not like he's asking her on a date or whatever. And that escalated to us making it a huge deal. Bobby and I even did the whole 'Greatest Pick-Up Line Ever' scene from HIMYM. And so we ALL decided maybe Jake had a thing for Kat. He's been REPRESSING it all this while that's why he didn't want to ask her and all. It was hilarious and it was one of the "You have to be there" situations.

So all the way to Bugis, we teased him and Kat. We went to Pastamania! (yes there's an exclamation mark in there, I kid you not ;) ) and that's when they decided to go to Fish&Co where Kat works for dinner. Jake even didn't eat at Pastamania! coz he said he was 'saving for later'. LOL!

We kinda nixed the whole KTV thing and went to play pool.

Okay part two of this story is kinda digressing the whole Kat/Jacob arc but Cracker's still in it because he did something way awesome!!

So we were all playing pool and Jake and me were deciding who was going to be who's wingman when Venus kept staring at this kinda good looking dude with a blue sweater thingie with a shirt and tie. FYI, I hated his hair. Anyway, Venus meant to say she was staring because it looked weird on the dude, a tie and then his aviators hanging on the open button thing. It was a fashion faux pas or something. Then Fuddy asked what was going on and we told her and she thought he was good looking too so Jake and I decided that he was gonna be Venus' wingman and I would be Fuddy's. (Haaaave you met *insert name*)

Jing Wen then challenged Jake and said: He's not gonna do it lah he's just a pussy. And Jake stood up and defended himself and all saying he would do it. Then Jing challenged him to say: Tell him I'm gay and I'm interested in him.

...

Jake did. The guy said okay and it was funny that both Jing and the guy were off their game instantly *LOL*
but the damn awesome thing was that Jake ACTUALLY did it!!
I think Barney Stinson has effected our favorite cracker :D I don't mind really, he's finally come out. :D (take that in any way you want :D )

okay so anyway part three of the story happened when they all went to Fish&Co and like half an hour or so ago, Venus texted me and told me Jake dedicated More Than Words to Kat at F&C!!! OH.EM.GEE!!!

Talked to Fuddy and Jing and both credited Jake and both asked me to blog about it so here it is. GOSSIP ALL AROUND TOMORROW PEOPLE!!! rawr :D

Whipped

2009-06-15T14:07:00.002+08:00

School in an hours time. So friggen lazy to get ready. Didn't get to see Mr C this morning but did get an offline message. Tres sweet. TRES sweet. So I've been smiling like a goofy idiot since like half an hour ago. Yes I'm whipped.

...

Whatever

ccbd

2009-06-14T13:53:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah

c
c
b
d

I love those alphabets

Do Not Read If Bored ^^

2009-06-06T23:43:00.003+08:00

My cousin asked this of me:

"Why the hurry?"

If I were to give her a detailed explanation on that small piece of paper, I'd have needed twenty more of that piece of paper to really explain why I was in a hurry.

Not so sure but I think I wrote the answer in this very blog...but never mind. I need to remind myself why anyway.

*clears throat*

Looking at my mother, my sisters, a few of my close friends, some of my teachers, my aunts, my cousins...and all I can think of was how jealous I feel whenever they get to caress their husband's face, cuddle in their arms when they have had a bad day, link their fingers with each other when they step out of their houses and lastly, how jealous I feel that they have someone in their life that they can truly and unconditionally depend on.

Yeah yeah, those who believe in women's rights who are reading this please don't bash me. I may sound like some child who has no backbone who needs another person's support in life. So sue me. I am a big believer of marriage. I want to be a young housewife with eleventy seven kids waiting for her husband to come home so that all of us can sit down at the dinner table and eat while talking about our anything under the sun.

Some might think I'm naive to think that marriage can guarantee me safety, security, presence of love and belonging. Maybe I am, but why can't I be? I'm a Muslim and I have read countless of Islamic books that foretell peace and love in marriage and I believe that. Happy marriages in my own circle of family and friends are testimony to that as well.

Women want to believe that they can take care of themselves but deep down they're always going to feel something missing in their lives and for me...I don't want to miss that little something. I don't want to feel inadequate anymore, if you know what I mean.

Why the hurry?

Why not? I'm twenty years old. If I were living in the 40s or earlier, I'd be an old maid already.
Maybe I just don't want to grow old alone; be the weird aunt my nieces and nephews don't want to sit with because she smells like cats.

Meh. I have plenty of reasons but none I can divulge since it's 12 25 am and I am oh so tired.

He does

2009-06-01T15:50:00.002+08:00

how does one handle rejection?

by talking to old friends about inane things?

by getting new friends and talk to THEM about inane things?

by going all out crazy with other girl members of the family?

by sleeping all hours then waking up for a bit and sleeping some more?

Or how about

by pushing everyone away and crying at odd places like the toilet?

by writing useless nonsense like THIS particular blog post?

by trying to reach out to people only to shy away because you're afraid they might be too busy and would not like it if you bothered them?

by eating yourself into oblivion? (i can't help but giggle at this :D)

mmm so many options.

it's a wonder how other people can actually commit suicide just because their girlfriends broke up with them.

Allah's always listening, isn't He?

2009-05-29T06:54:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/user/communitychannel

Check her out. You would NOT be disappointed.

Her wicked Ozzie accent can do no wrong.

(Neither would yours, Mr C. Count on that.)

R A W R

2009-05-28T05:20:00.002+08:00

I do declare...

Being 20 isn't much of a difference is it? It's already 4 days left to June and I am still stuck in the same rut.

My SIL got a new PINK Sony Vaio. Out of the blue my mother buys it for her. Jealous? Me? Well yuh.

I'm already 20 and I'm still petty. WHY?!

Getting prettytired of myself. So why am I blogging all this? To get sympathy? Who would sympathize a petty 20 year old?

Rawr.

It's not even ABOUT the laptop.

Dum dum Duuuuuuum

2009-05-06T23:11:00.002+08:00

49...

20 comes, 20 goes
Where it goes no one knows

20 big, 20 small
I am big but not so tall

20 young, 20 old
Rainbows don't have a pot of gold

20 then, 20 now
I want to stop but don't know how

20 here, 20 there
Everyone will stop and stare

20 years will go on by
I can't help but sigh goodbye

20...I hate you, you big lumpy number.

44...

Being Rejected

2009-05-05T00:01:00.001+08:00

I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.
-Drew Barrymore, He's Just Not That Into You.

Oy Ve

2009-05-01T18:37:00.001+08:00

Something wicked happened today
Made me itchy all the way
Every night and every day
Itchy scratchy itchy scratchy hell will pay!!

2009-04-24T05:01:00.001+08:00

Sore throat = sexy voice.

Well at least HE thinks so...

For My Lesbian Luvrrr

2009-04-16T21:18:00.002+08:00

Watched an epic movie today. Chinese some more. Got Choi Siwon...huhu. He was a very convincing prince cept for the fact that his bulging eyes creeped me out a bit. But when he died, I wanted to cry. I kid you not.

Battle of the Wits, I think it's called. Andy Lau played the main character; a change agent as Dr. Fong has called him; in layman terms, counselor.

So when it was done, we were broken down to groups to discuss the Systemic Perspective of the movie and link 5 scenes with Maslow's hierarchy of needs and Pavlov and Skinner's conditioning theories. Joy to the world eh?

On other notes...my lesbian luver is sick. (MY POOR BABY!) I dedicate this post to you.
And also this song. Just for you my lovely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgkpmMgaCB4

Because

2009-04-10T02:29:00.001+08:00

I have a durr card...

Just because...

Plaza Singapura

2009-04-07T06:33:00.003+08:00

Belated post. Bear with the length. I'm feeling very photographic today.

Monday started pretty slow. Woke up late, had to catch a cab and almost fell off the seat even with the belt on.
Got to class, was slightly late but not late enough to get the 'absent' tick, Alhamdulillah. Jeet told me a horrifying story about herself, which I was completely surprised at. JEET'S BLARDY AWESOME!! Guys are just heartless.

Then we had our first joint lunch so that was a bonus. Who was there...Okay at the top of my head: James, Gerard (!! was quite surprised that the guys joined) Fatima, myself, Jeet, Amala and Viki (she didn't talk so I dunno if she was really there or not :p). It was such an awesome group of people and we talked about a LOT of things and a few mishaps happened which I don't wish to mention (us girls know what happened, right?) then classes continued and it was time to stay back for our AMP project.

Hema, Gerard, Amala, Fatima and myself came up with the brilliant idea of going to Plaza Singapura for pasta and project supplies. And while we think of waiting for the shuttle, someone offered the brilliant idea of taking the bus and this is what happened while waiting for the shuttle.

Gerard: Are we taking the train or the bus? Coz I'm more of a bus guy.
Hema: Huh? You're a bus driver?

My dearest Bubu had problems with her hearing but very good lah. My Bubu is my source of entertainment. No, my dear Bubu...I'm laughing WITH you...not AT you.

First eye-opening account happened when we were in bus 93, heading to HarbourFront. There was a blind man sitting in front of Gerard and he asked whether we were in the direction of Alexandra Hospital and none of us were sure so I just went to the bus driver and asked. Got the answer so went to the back again and told Gerard to tell the man that we were, in fact, going in that direction. So the girls and I started to talk about some inane stuff I've forgotten when Alexandra Hospital came into view and Gerard informed the blind man and he (blind man) started to get up with his stick and a plastic foldable chair. Gerard GOT OUT OF HIS SEAT. And I helped adjust the chair in his hand(trivial). Gerard slowly sent Mr Blind Man to the exit of the bus and waited until MBM was safely on the ground before going back to his seat.
The girls and I were thoroughly impressed by the eighteen year old boy so we clapped and giggled before talking obsessively about idiots on public transportation who don't help those in need of help and those few 'angels' who actually do. We swapped ghost stories and then we went to the train station.

Got on the train, got off the train, Amala then announced that Hugh Jackman will, indeed, be in his birthday suit for a scene. And as we're going up the escalator, a certain anatomy was mentioned (that rhymes with hut) and Hema, from behind us ask this.

Hema: Huh? Who got a bike?

Cracked ALL of us up like HELL.

Then we arrived in Plaza Sing (YAY!!) and I was walking with Amala when I read this Carl's Jr ad.

"Some like it long. Others like it thick."

....

Really.

Amala and I cracked up.

Then what happened next...we got to PastaMania! (yes it has an exclamation mark there) finally and we had a whole two hours there talking about how OCD all of us are and how insanely crazy some of us are interpreting our family members' behaviour when we're being OCD and all that.

Eye-opening account number two happened when Hema sneaked in a few bites of her chocolate roll when it was clearly stated (we emphasised on it because it was a good joke :p we're just cool like that) that outside food and drinks aren't allowed.

Gerard: Well you could just like treat it like a garlic bread.
Hema: Yeah! Very good! Garlic bread since when got chocolate.
Gerard: Well yeah you could just say it was VERY burnt garlic bread.

O.o

When we FINALLY finished with PastaMania! we went to the main purpose of our visit to Plaza Sing. *Name of shop and product shall be blotted for personal purposes. Will be revealed once AMP assignment is done and...PICTURES SHALL BE NEEDED!! (goes in search of damn camera)*
We oohed and aahed went all giggly crazy and blardy loud in that tiny shop and argued over felt white and grey (both went into the shopping bag) should we cut it in half? (horizontal or vertical? WE HAVE CUTTERS!!) elegance? or meaningful? (we should totally be boring with this whole thing. it would work. no one else would do it :p one in a million arrogance??!!)
We did NOT got over our budget because we got EXTRA (that should NOT have been bought but it went into the shopping bag ANYWAY! (membership card! call if you want to come back here weyyyy. we share card!)

Then was time to go home and on train I see this:

"You may be sitting on something thick."

and this

"Open as wide as you can and say: "Ah..."

and this

"Be careful where you shove this thing."

this one was new

"You'll need a wider mouth or a wider door."

and my personal favorite

"So thick it will tear something in you."

I know...they're smart! Who comes up with all this shiznit, you wonder yeah??

*Timeframe sped up. End of religious class*

Went to Raimah for late very later supper and ma commented on how animated I was. I told ma and pa everything that's been happening in school.
I concluded the day with the fact that I'm OCD, random, controlling, a perfectionist, a hypocrite and an irony. Phew.
Proceeded to clean the room* and it smelled good then stayed online with PSSR, AMP and PI as constant companions. Alongside adorable Jo, TOFU Jing Wen, Bubu Hema, Chipper Chip, Rocking Rick, Awesome Ar and FINALLY Mr C. gets online and we talk for two hours.
I told him about a few things that happened and he was as always very attentive and damn it he lived up to his pseudonym DAMN EFFING WELL. He's an unbelievable individual, Mr. C is. Smitten I am.
And it's damn sad that everytime his name comes up on the bottom right hand corner of the screen saying "Mr. C is online.", it gets me every. single. time.
Ahh...he's finally broken me down to mere rubble. The guy has got class doing it too.
So yes...no doubt will this go away..nope.

Picture time!!

Went to Subway and Famous Amos to get cookies. Soft, chewy goodness in a bite.
Nice...Butterscotch and Pecans, chocolate chip and peanut butter. I finished peanut butter because so effing good.

Huge subway cookies. Will never be forgotten

And the butterscotch. Hmmm

A Tag I couldn't RESIST doing!

2009-04-05T17:08:00.002+08:00

01. Who was your last text from?
Gerard. Sorry lah, my itchy baby!! I did NOT expect any of this to happen!

02. Where was your default picture taken?
Some random google image page

03. Your relationship status?
Single, forever and always...

Yeah I think it sucks...

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
Plenty of those

05. What is your current mood?
Sat.Is.Fied.

06. How many siblings do you have?
3

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
Kak Siti, Abang Din and Abang Fareed

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
The land of the Kangaroos and Wallabys. Ozzie all the way baby!

09. Have a crazy side?
Me? Crazy? Why I never!

*roll eyes*

10. Ever had a near death experience?
Yep

11. Something you do a lot?
YM Superman (you know who you are) and...talking to him...among all things.

12. Angry at anyone?
I’m pretty content with everyone important in my life

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
Religion?

14. When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday. Watched SPN and when Dean heard about how he was the one who started the seal breaking....HEARTbreaking!

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Define anything

16. What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
Ya Allah I soooo need this sleep.

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Gerard

18. What is your favorite song?
This mix of Kat Deluna’s Whine Up and Lady GaGa’s Just Dance. It’s intoxicating!

19. What are you doing right now?
Procrastinating. It’s a hobby of mine. And waiting for Superman to come back on

20. Who do you trust right now?
Anyone around me that deems trustworthy

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
My big brother

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
Mmmhmmm

23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
Fatin. Though we don’t see each other...ever

24. Describe your life in one word?
Livable

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
THE Superman. We REALLY need to think of a cooler alias than this one man.

26. What should you be doing right now?
Finishing my 6 assignments but am I? Of course not. I’m talking to Mr Charming. (Found it!)

27. What are you listening to?
The fan whirring and some weird noises and children screaming and playing

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
My niece came running to me and hugged my leg. My nephew stands close but doesn’t touch me until I put my hand on his head and he crashes into my legs. Adorable...

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
My dad

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
Nope. I’m over that stage :p

31. What is your natural hair color?
Dark brown. But I like the colour it changes to once it hit the lights. Pretty...

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Mr C. (I'll call you this. Sounds more enigmatic and mysterious) I’m not the only who has the chops

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
No one?

34. What do you hear?
My niece screaming while she plays.

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
Straight

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
HAHA! I think after this, Mr C might be obliged to call me this every damn day. And I wouldn't complain

37. Do you have a best friend?
Yep

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
Yep. My nephew’s hands are so tiny compared to mine.

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
Yes. I like the huge happy smiley and the tongue sticking out smiley and also the roll eyes smiley.

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Once. Horrible experience. My legs were there and my head was here... NOT pretty

41. Are you happy with life right now?
Pretty content

42. Are you currently jealous?
Haha...slightly. Haha

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing?
No jewelry... I find them tedious

44. What were you doing on friday night?
Chatting...with none other than Mr. C.

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Nope

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
Nawww

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?

Stomach related

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
I haven’t slept properly since...yesterday night.

Why? Mr C has a way of making you wait for him...

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
I don’t date.

Twirling His Umbrella, Ella Ella Eh Eh Eh

2009-04-04T10:01:00.002+08:00

Dr Fong's tutorial yesterday opened up a bit of my mind. We discussed middle child syndrome, APA membership and schizophrenia among other things.

In the beginning of class, he made everyone laugh like nothing when he said: "EH! Paper!" elongating the 'per' part of the word. He took it and smiled that smile of his. Damn funny lah he.

Then he stole an umbrella and opened it in front of the class and starts to twirl it in his hands as we start the class. Honestly, there's nothing this man won't do to get us to interact with him in class.

He admitted to the fact that he was a screw up. That one made me laugh a lot. He said something along the lines of "If you're so screwed up, what for want to show people that you're perfect?" then he starts talking in such a weird accent, trying to sound like a pompous lecturer. Then when he finished his act (he actually explained everything we were talking about previously in that weird accent he put on) he just went "Haiyaaa!" I shook my head a lot in that class seriously.

Then he gave us this question on what is the difference between problem and change. My group which thankfully consisted of smart people and cute people alike and then me. :p sad
So we were discussing about it when Dr Fong just said one word and all of us were like "THAT'S WHAT WE SAID!" in not so many words. We were basically all saying the same thing about that one word. Cheh...
Jing Wen was blardy adorable just looking at us girls talking about it when he suddenly asked what it was we were talking about. Haiyo...If I can pinch your cheeks, you'd have bruises everyday, Jing Wen. And I STILL believe it's TOFU!! OH! When he pouted, I couldn't stop laughing. It was too cute!! That boy will be the death of me, truly.

I am so sleepy...but right now The Zack Attack is killing me. He likes to screw with me a lot......damn you The Zack Attack. Well...not that I'm complaining. :p You know I love you, mate.

Confused

2009-04-03T00:53:00.004+08:00

I feel like my eyes are going to fall out of the sockets. I have been crying like hell since you left Singapore.

You had the effing nerve to tell me ON THE DAMN PHONE that you were never scheduled to leave on the 4th. It was YESTERDAY.

You're such a bass turd lah, dodol.

You tell me you broke up with that...human because that human can't handle the long distance and then you know what that human did? That human texted me saying it was MY BLOODY FAULT that you're going to Amsterdam or Brussels or Spinach...WHEREver European country to work for your mentor. MY FAULT??!! How the hell is it my fault?

I blame you lah, you fish sh*t.

You just don't get anything through that thick inabsorbent head of yours that everything will change. You don't plan ahead. You dump responsibilities on me like I'm your babu. Give me a day's notice only.

You tire me you know you....aquatic life poop.

It doesn't matter to you that I have a life to lead.

NINE DAMN LONG MONTHS WITHOUT YOU IS FRIGGEN TORTURE LAH!

Next you'll be telling me that you like living in Orange or whatever...and you're not coming back until you get a European spouse like you always dreamt.

Callous stupid blockheaded finned animal faeces.

I want to tell you that you're a certain human anatomy but you already know that because I remind you every single time we talk but you TRULY are a certain human anatomy lah, dumb dumb (you want some gum gum?)

I hope you have a good time doing your slave labour.

Wo aini ya. A little bit but not too much. Just enough...

Come back soon

Deflated Balloon

2009-03-26T04:38:00.002+08:00

Okay I know I shouldn't be writing about this but now I just can't help myself.

Having a one-sided crush on someone is already bad. But once you add in the fact that said someone is an online friend whom you have only chatted with for about a total of six days (doesn't matter that said conversations last for about...10 hours each give or take) and ALSO the fact that said someone already HAS a girlfriend.

*sound of balloon deflating and flying haphazardly all across your living room*

Sigh

19 years have NOT taught me ANYthing. It just makes me more of a sap than I already was.....anyanyanyanyanyanyanya

I.Hate.This.Feeling.

The Decline in Common Courtesy ala Singaporeans

2009-03-23T05:20:00.003+08:00

The other day I was in the MRT and was standing (as usual) at the door since Singaporeans apparently like to sit down on public transportations. Anywho!
There was this group of boys no older than 13 (maybe lah I dono) so they were kinda separated when they sat down but they were all on the same bench. One of them was sitting on the priority seat and it took him a little less than a minute to turn around and find the priority seat label thingie with the pregnant lady stick figure (with a huge bump), an old person stick figure (with a cane) and a man stick figure (with a little boy stick figure on his lap) and he got up, looked for the nearest senior citizen-y person and offered up his seat. Although the senior citizen-y man refused (politely, I might add), the lil boy didn't sit again, he just stood in front of his friends and started talking animatedly with them.

.......

How sweet is THAT??
I mean...you don't ever expect young adults or kids or tweens (whatever lah they're called) to give up their seats especially in thsi day and age and here's a kid no older than 14 or 13 actually realising that he's sitting at a priority seat and giving up his seat. Some people just pretend to sleep or pretend to massage their leg or whatever instead of giving their seats up.

My lecturer was ten months pregnant (once) and she went on the MRT but NO ONE gave up their seats for her.
My sister-in-law experienced this lack of common decency more than twice. Twice while she was pregnant and a few times when she had my niece and nephew with her. How twistedly incorrigible are Singaporeans these days, yes? Yes?

Sigh...

And once, I had to endure half an hour of this elderly woman (race not identified due to risk of being called a racist) lecturing the young lady beside her about youngester with no decency to give up their seats. Apparently according to her, only foreigners (like the dude sitting in front of her, she pointed out) would ever give their seats up. Funny thing, lady. I gave my seat up three times prior to that lecture. I don't mean to boast or pretend to be modest or whatnot. I was just giving up facts. But can you imagine how irksome I felt when I had to listen to THAT KIND OF CRAP? Generalization theories only work when you've experienced it a MULTITUDE OF TIMES with ALL AGE GROUPS. Singapore is NOT THAT SMALL lady. You'd be surprised by how many well-mannered teenagers there are in Singapore. You'd be surprised by how many peaceful scarf wearing people there are in Singapore (who don't have bombs hidden under their veils, mind you). You'd be surprised by how many excellent female drivers there are in Singapore. You just have to open your eyes and not judge anyone based on a few experiences you've gone through with certain people.

IT.IS.JUST.NOT.FAIR.

*Breathe in breathe out*

ANYWAY!

School's been great. I love being in class for EVERY class :D How nerdy and geeky of me but never mind. I like being and sounding geeky and nerdy.

So t-t-t-t-t-hat's all folks!

Just Stand Up

2009-03-11T02:54:00.004+08:00

Alia Nadhirah, you're truly my gem.
Iman, You are my Queen in all senses of the word.
Fatimah Az-Zahraa, you're the wind under my wings.
Noor Aishah, You are my better half.
Alia Adeeba, you're my Jordan.
Nur Anisah, you're more than a sister to me.
Farah, you're my laughter.
Keyla Ivannia, you're my muse through and through.
Kak Siti, you're my inspiration.
Kak Sofiah, you're my mental guardian.

You are all what I carry in my heart every single day.

This is for you.

Because I Have No Life

2009-03-08T23:10:00.000+08:00

Things I am loving about my life

For the sake of updating my blog to make it not dead, I've decided to put up a post about the things (events, etc) that are making my life some kind of wonderful :D

1. MDIS
I know I know. Certain people who know me must be rolling their eyes right about now. ME? School? Like? In the same sentence?? Puh-leeze.
But truthfully, me love MDIS long time. Or specifically Dr Fong, Ms Kaveri and Dr Shareef.

2. My home
-.- weirded out? So am I. What I love about my home is not the building lah dodol (then why didn't you just say, badut?). It's the people who live in it. Their beautiful strength, patience (and I'm beginning to sound mushy) sympathetic and empathetic selves...it's just totally inspiring. I have to learn to appreciate these people more than I show it. And you all should know that my dears..."this too shall pass" (Falling or Flying {Grace Potter and The Nocturnals})

3. This situation
Somehow, I find that the situation all my family members and myself are in right now are bonding us in ways that I never thought was possible. Tis true what Allah had said: There will always be wisdom behind every event. I shall see us bonding as the wisdom behind this event.

4. The future
A lot of things are going to happen to me all at once in the near future (Insya Allah may all of us live long enough to see tomorrow. :D Amin) One penghijrahan (if that is even a word), a marriage (ehem2 ahhaha surprise surprise), a certain sense of freedom and hopefully the biggest of all these...is my graduation from MDIS with a diploma in my hand (AMIN!)

5. A routine
I KNOW! I finally have a health routine! It might start out measly (once a week) but soon (I hope REALLY soon!) it's going to be escalating. I CAN'T wait!

6. Facebook
Haha! I'm only saying this because it's due to Facebook that I've gotten in touch with old friends...friends I never thought I would ever talk to ever again...ones I have missed. I really hope we can continue to keep in touch!

7. American Idol Season 8
Superficial I know but I can't help it. Anoop Desai and Danny Gokey? REALLY? Danny's gonna DIE out there!! But as far as he's there...I'm watching it. I LOVE DANNY!!!

8. I think I've run out of things...because I can never think too far off (and some may say I can never think. Period. :p)

I guess this is all.
To all who are reading this, be patient with my craziness.
You know you love me, people :p!

2009-03-06T16:25:00.002+08:00

Irresponsibility.

Ill-regard towards other people's feelings.

Stupid, selfish, inconsiderate and ungrateful.

It is not fair that people who are not related nor supposed to be involved are the ones who are suffering in this sordid mess.

I hate the people who put those uninvolved people in this bodoh punye situation. Maybe not the people since I don't know them that well but I hate their actions. It's damn sickening.

You want my raisins?

2009-02-27T02:20:00.002+08:00

Dear Dr Fong

I truly am in awe of you.

"I assure y'all that you won't ever forget any of my lessons"
- Dr Fong

True true. Though the words are gone from my mind (my memory's for shit so...) the fact that I can still remember the stuff that happened. The discussion we had about that stupid lady, the raisins, the sperm production, the doggie pants, the heart shaped Intent and your "wah excellent".

I hope I don't sound like a love sick puppy when I write all this because I sure am not. I just admire his freshness and his hilarity and his oh so MACHOness :p. No offense lor, Chris!!

And to Gerard (I know you're not reading this, I just need to make a public apology) It's against my religion to be touching those of the opposite sex. IT'S NOT JUST YOU! And to Shuba (Shuva? I'm sorry) thank you for mentioning my pipi telor! :D You made my day lah!

Farah (Jannah? ahakz!) thanks for sitting with me during break. You're the first!
Theresa you truly DO live up to your nickname (Mother Theresa)

I'M SO MUSHY! Ta'pe ta'pe. For good reason.

Okay I know I didn't update this blog on my first day in college so this is the condensed version of the three days.

First day, Bill's day. Thai from Thailand (SHOCKING!) So lembut suare one! How to hear? And your jokes, although it sounds funny to you...I don't get lor. Sorry sorry. Oh yeah...He Who Must Not Be Named walked me to class. :D

Second day, Ms K! A living testament that teachers CAN rock the classroom. Our table arrangement is coolio.

Third day, CHRIS I LOVE YOU!! First real interaction with other people besides myself. Theresa, Shuva (Shuba?), Farah (Jannah?), Gerard, Ching Wen (Aiyo so bad with names larh!!)you guys sure are coolness!

So yeah condensed version done.

Just finished first assignment for Ms K's class. And now...looking for nasi briyani recipe for Kakak's arrival.

..........

2009-02-22T14:43:00.001+08:00

Esok dah start skolah weyy

School...which I AM excited about.........

SCHOOL!
sigh...

Ezra, my imaginary heterosexual/bisexual/homosexual/asexual/pansexual life partner

2009-02-20T06:24:00.004+08:00

Yes I have nothing to do at 6 24 am in the morning.

And yes I have nothing else to do than update my dead blog which NO one reads anyway. (( I wonder whether I should get those counter tickers which count the visitors for this blog. ))

I just finished reading this person's blog and said person is a very adorable person. Like tak boleh tahan punye comel!!

Said person (( let's just give said person a name. Ezra. :D It's neither feminine nor masculine. My daughter's name would be Ezra )) Ezra comes off as such a gentleman/lady yet he/she cusses like nobody’s business.
Ezra is younger than me just by a year but Ezra’s personality like completely jauh dari me. Bukan lah nak kate Ezra ni immature ke ape...I’m in no way any mature than the next person liao. Tapi die bukan lah mature pon. Ezra is just flacken adorable!
There was a post that Ezra posted up about something or other (( i won’t mention the subject for fear of Ezra actually reading this. Which is highly unlikely but i aint gonna take that risk )) which completely spoke to me in volumes, i tells ya. It freaked me out but somehow... :D Ezra ni lagi muda dari me and Ezra might be...well...haha! Never mind
I know what I’m saying makes no sense but Ezra ni...die betul buat my mind tak keharuan (( cheh cheh!! )) Ezra is blowing my mind off its kilter! More so than usual lagi pulak tu!
Harap-harap whoever gets Ezra to be their partner memang appreciate die sebab ku sangat2 appreciate Ezra in the long run.
...
Maybe this is just my subconscious telling me that I want a little person to call mine own.
Anyone want to marry me?
Call me, email me, text me.
I want a baby like completely asap.

A sigh of relief...

2009-02-20T02:07:00.003+08:00

A jump of joy
A scream of victory
A racing heartbeat
And a smile

For he got through

How could you not fall for him?

Not a Loreal Ad

2009-02-18T22:08:00.005+08:00

American Idol season 8.

I know it's so wrong for me to write up this blog post but gosh darnit, the talent is brimming on the sides.

Surprising talent of the season; Anoop Desai!
Iman is totally and devastatingly obsessed with the man.
If you've ever watched Anoop's harmonizing group The Clef Hangers, you'll understand her obsession.

The next is 16 year old Stevie Wright. With her, it wasn't surprising. More of a: WOW quality to her voice when she sang Etta James' "At Last" for her audition. She immediately became my favorite after finishing her song.

And last but by no measure the least...
His story broke my heart. His wife died weeks before his auditions. His best friend was opted out in favour of him...it's all so sad
But then he belts out a Mariah Carey original, which previously David Cook attempted and like David Cook, he nailed it.
I present to you, the one the only...*sigh drool swoon* Danny Gokey

Je t'adore Danny Gokey.
He can do no wrong in my eyes...singing-wise I mean.
If...no WHEN he wins...or at least when he comes up with a CD, bet your bottom dollar that I'll be in line to buy it :D
I can't sing his praises enough. I LOOOVE what he does to me when he's on screen.

Because he's worth it.

Three Simple Words

2009-02-18T05:04:00.002+08:00

20072005

There're so many ways to say it
And only few I know
There's Ich liebedich in German
In plain English you will know

Guminavo zou diao in Sabah
Wo aini in Chinese
Uhibbuka in Arabic
But I'll just say it in English

Mahal kita in Tagalog
Dosetdaram the Persians say
Je t'adore in romantic French
In English another way

S'agapo in Greek is how they declare
Sarangheyo the Koreans word
Saya sayang awak the Malays all swear
But those languages to me are absurd

Aishiteru the Japanese assert
Te Amo, the Latinos convey
Te Ubesk Romanions orate
I really think they just can't say

In English language it's so easy
Though Chan Ruk khun is in Thai
But now that it's the end of the poem
It would be hard to say goodbye

At last the last verse is here
And remember this is true
This feeling I will preserve so dear
In English, I love you

First Time

2009-02-18T04:58:00.002+08:00

15062005

I don't know what made me look twice
"Maybe because of his smile," would suffice
Or maybe because he's so nice when he talks
It's definitely positively not his weird walks

But something just really struck me that day
I just couldn't make myself look away
I couldn't talk and I couldn't speal
I think maybe if I did I would squeak

Once he had said something so neat
That my heart just went on and skipped a beat
I hope I can forget all the things he said
But my head just won't stop whirring when I'm in bed

And on my bed is a different matter
My brain is telling me that I'm a complete natter
I even bring him home to my dreams sometime
A natter I am, it should be a big crime

But I still don't know why I fell
It seems like I've been put under his spell
I guess I'll just wait till I know
Just why I have fallen in love with him so

An ode to a rubber ducky

2009-02-18T04:46:00.001+08:00

Date unknown

Keep smiling all the time
It shouldn't be a crime
To be happy all the way
Every night and every day
No matter how is sad
Be happy that you're glad
No on is as lucky
As you, you rubber ducky!

Twas a Monday

2009-02-18T04:42:00.002+08:00

I might be doing multiple posts from now on. Don't groan. I have 4 followers who actually read my stuff (methinks) so this is more for them (insert evil laughter).

18092006

Lost in a moment
Where truth is confused
And a lie is diffused
And nothing is ever the same
Caught up in a moment
Whispers of meaningless dreams
Corruption beyond despair
And everything is completely changed
Rising with the tide
Looking for escape
Seeing the empty road
Realising you have tempted with fate
Nothing seems to be real
And faith is just a dream
Your life comes to a crashing still
It looks like nothing can be your saving grace

Tiny lil poem

2009-02-17T13:06:00.003+08:00

12 September 2006

I saw a cute guy just now
While I was walking down the street
His spiked up hair was standing tall
His smile was so damn sweet

Ha
Ha
Ha

I don't know what possessed me to write this poem. Haha! But I DO remember that I was thinking about it on a bus and I couldn't WAIT to jot it down.
Funny...

:D

2009-02-17T04:38:00.002+08:00

Just ignore the Latin on the left side of my new blog layout. The old one was pretty dull so this is it.

A surprise

2009-02-17T04:02:00.002+08:00

It's 4 08 am GMT +8 here in Singapore as I'm typing this down.

An hour ago, I decided to rummage through my old notebooks and journals and I found the three that I used to carry around with me everywhere I went when I was still in school. And it's decided that I was a very peculiar young adolescent. My emotions were everywhere! It was like being on a rollercoaster. All the nauseating twists and turns and jerks included.

I digress.

I was reading page by page of one of the notebooks and I found this one piece I wrote 2.5 years ago. So here goes.

(No corrections or edits have been made. This was me when I was 17)

18102006

In my opinion, true love can never be penned in words whether it be typed, drilled in stones or...penned down.

It has to be felt. By hearts owned by two people who can be rendeered speechless when asked how they're feeling.

Even if it has to be worded, cliches are best lines they can use. Okay, maybe not to the extent of crossing a sea of fire (never good to use an oxymoron) or being ready to go to the moon and back (it costs too much to build a rocket that will help you land on a moon). Lines like "you set my heart ablaze with unbridled passion" or "nothing human can be compared to your beauty" or the simple "I love you so much."

You must be scoffing and thinking I'm the most whipped romantic but how can anyone live their whole lives without having one tiny moment that can arrest you completely and unequivocally make you feel nothing but pleasure?

I don't deny the fact that I've been caught in the net of love. It hurts, I must admit. It hurts to the extent that you might feel that you heart should and could never feel love again. But there's no denying that the pleasure you feel from loving someone can sometimes overcome that hurt.

Love doesn't have to be reciprocated by the other party for you to feel the joy.

Love doesn't have to be about seeing fireworks, hearing violins or running through a field under a bright sun and with a breezy wind.

Love can be about feeling motivated or building up previously unknown courage or maximising your feelings and emotions.

This all might soung too mushy but don't you feel that when you are involved in a relationship or...even when you have a passing glance at "that" person?

Huh...maybe all this stemmed from the various heartbreaks I've experienced. But trust me on this bit. The previous heartbreak you feel will build up your passion with the person you spend your life with. The one who loves you as much as you love them...

How about THAT huh folks?
I'm surprised myself.
I seriously don't remember that I wrote this!

Ah well.

I have plenty of other stuff I wrote from before...maybe I'll post them up. Poems, short stories...whatnot.

That's it for now. It's 4 23 am GMT +8 here in Singapore.

Valentine's Day After Special

2009-02-15T14:41:00.001+08:00

Hello hello dear readers (beating own drum as always)

YESTERDAY was Valentine's Day. A day of celebration. A day of love. A day for couples all over the world to rejoice and renew their love for each other.

And I felt like regurgitating all the sushi I ate yesterday due to the nauseating public displays of disgusting lust. PDA is one thing, like hand holding and discreet kisses here and there but I see teenagers (I still AM one but I've gone past THIS stage), kids who I could have been babysitting in the past (!!) kissing in the middle of the pavillion, feeling each other up in the theater (Underworld: Rise of the Lycans brought in more couples than singles) and (blegh) hand holding in a restaurant? REALLY??

Gaaahhhhddddd

I know I sound jaded but let me tell you; I've never been in a relationship. Ever. And now I hear all the: "Aw come on. You've NEVER been in a relationship. WHAT do you even KNOW about Valentine's Day??!!"

1. I KNOW it's the most commercialised holiday and so yeah good for all the gift shops around the world and all but really. If you're actually willing to spend over a hundred dollars on one person for one day...what the feck??

2. St. Valentine was a priest in the Roman Days and he was persecuted for marrying and pairing couples. So Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate a death? The fact that he died because of making people fall in love is NOT a justification for celebrating a death okay?

3. It's a day for the celebration of love. So...does this mean for the rest of the 364 days of the whole year, you don't show the person you supposedly love that you love 'em?

Sigh...

It's just so nauseating to look right and left and see adolescents macking with each other IN PUBLIC.

I am done. :D

GOOD NEWS ALL AROUND

2009-02-11T17:15:00.003+08:00

Today is a good day.

It didn't start out good but I received good news at about 4 just now so it's a good day! :D

After so many weeks (months) of waiting (being a couch potato) I've finally gotten up my arse and did something life altering (...not really). I sent an application form to MDIS for a diploma in Psychology (psych!)

...

I got accepted.

Nyeeeee

Muahhahahaaaaa.

And I've also decided that I will further that diploma to a degree in child psychology INSYA ALLAH!

Pray for me, my dear readers ( -.-' like I have any...)

I am normal. It's everybody else who's random

2009-02-06T20:35:00.008+08:00

What's been happening in the past few weeks in my life?

I know you didn't ask but this IS my blog so I shall write as though I have readers who actually care :D Indulge me, fellow bloggers.

The skin on my hand is peeling and/or pruning because of the dishes I wash, the heel of my feet is hardening because of how much I move about the house with a mop or a broom, and I'm beginning to smell like Dettol and powder detergent and baby liquid softener with all the clothes I've been washing and hanging. I'm glad to announce that the flab on my arms have hardened because of all the bamboo poles I hold up against the hard winds that have come to Singapore completely unannounced. Grateful, I am. *nods* :D

Lately, whenever I sleep, I need my comforter because of how cold I'm beginning to feel. I don't use the air conditioner anymore (I used to switch it on so much my dad got angry with me, telling me about the bill 'melambung'ing:D).

I've sent in my application form (FINALLY) for a diploma in Psychology at MDIS where apparently a SUPASTAAAAH (Abang Din's longtime friend Abang Faizal) is currently studying in. I'll be in the presence of 'star' light. Nyahahha! And I'll be furthering the diploma into a degree in Psych while I go for an Arabic course in MEDIU so that I'll get the best of both of worlds if God forbid, something happens in the future.

I've figured out that I'm completely unprepared to have a family of my own. I'm incapable to make an easy decision let alone be in a situation where the decisions I make will effect not only me but people who might depend on me in a lot of aspects. And of course. I can't even cook.

And I find these words very...well, judge it for yourselves:

Love, what metal are you made of? You must be from some scheming star Love, you're wicked and heavenly You set me free Then you lock the door I can't go back and I can't go forward You got me wrapped around your finger Tie a rope around me Ready, aim, and pull the trigger Love, you push me and say I've fallen It's your fault really If I'm a fool This train don't stop and it don't go nowhere You got me wrapped around your finger

Someone commented on a previous entry about boycotting. He (she) said something along the lines of: "Why continue to let our beloved Palestinians suffer just because we can't control our own desires?"
I find that it hurt me a lot that someone would say something like that when it's not what was taught by our Prophet. I just feel so sad that some of my fellow Muslims feel as though doing more than what our beloved Prophet has taught us is better in the long run.
Ah well.

I'll share with you some of the few random things about me:

1. Cookshows make me want to be Susie Homemaker.
2. Whenever I see young parents with their kids, I feel so envious.
3. I feel that the mess in my room is livable while I can't see mess outside of it. :D
4. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. And I really hope my sister in law and I will achieve our goal. Jiayo, kak Sofiah!
5. I found out that I have no ugly friends. They're either really pretty or damn handsome. And I get envious of their confidence. :D
6. Whenever I watch a ghost story with my sister in law, it's easy for me to make fun of it rather than be scared out of my wits.
7. I like doing these random things because I find that I'm random again!
8. The walls in my room have been massacred by my beloved niece and nephew and I couldn't be more happier because of it.
9. I love seaweed. Especially the Tom Yam flavoured one.
10. I completely miss these people
I guess this is all.

For.........

2009-02-06T01:24:00.003+08:00

The baby in the family, Amalia. Also know as Yaya and also know as my baby! :D

Dah 16 tahun. *squeal* Sixteen years old already.

Ingat Ya, your birthday is not a reminder of the day you were born je. It's also a reminder of how close we are to our death and how Allah has been VERRRRRYYYY generous with you. Ape ape you think is kureng in your life, just remember that Allah has given you the greatest gift of all, which is life. Sappy? Yes much.

This is also for all the sakes we've done and all the sakes we will do in years to come.

I love you lots and lots, Amalia.

infinite x's and o's
your mummy!

BOYCOTT!!!

2009-01-16T02:28:00.001+08:00

Bismillah

This post is not the one I wanted to originally write BUT it's as important to me as the other post I'm working on. On to it then!

When Muslims all over the world claimed that our daily needs are of Jewish production therefore boycotting them is the most rational thing to do, I kinda went absolutely bonkers since I am unable to go through one week without my sumptuous large French Fries from good ol' Mickey D's (McDonalds), I can't go through a day without my Johnson&Johnson's baby bath (it just smells so darn good) and I definitely cannot go through my life without at LEAST wearing one article of clothing from Banana Republic (deliciously comfortable!)

So, I did the most rational thing anyone in my position would do.

I continued indulging on my fries, I continued making myself smell babylicious with Johnson&Johnson's baby bath and I continued wearing my awesome clothes from Banana Republic.

Then a tirade of emails from my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters opened my eyes to everything else that are of Jewish production. Disney (!!), Sara Lee (chocolatey heaven), Maggi mee (MY CURRY! MY LAKSA!), Nestle (NESTUM!!!), Kleenex (tissue...WHAT IF I NEED TO BLOW A SNOT!!), Kotex (!! what the what the how the what the how what the...!!!) Marks and Spencer (seriously? You expect me not to go there to get all my oversized jeans and clothes and delicates??!! REALLY??!!) and some others that I coincidentally don't even use ANYWAY.

And all I could see were the horrifying images of dead babies, wounded babies, babies that have been shot in the stomach, bloodied from head to toe, scarred left to right...babies...

:: a moment to shudder ::

It didn't, however, stop me from smiling at the golden arches that welcome me to the warm hug of fries, nor did it stop me from drinking my cola and it definitely did not stop me from applauding Nokia for creating such brilliant commercials for their equally brilliant phones.
Although it DID make me feel guilty that I was funding the killings of babies. BABIES!!! (images flood in brains)

YET, it didn't occur to me that there are justifications to my actions. Yes. I finally don't have to feel guilty about killing babies. I even found out that I WASN'T KILLING BABIES!!!! (silent victory chair dance)

Rasulullah was in the trading business with mushrikeens (those who are not in faith (of Islam, of course)) and as we all know, the Jews are not of Islamic faith.

RASULULLAH! The perfect example we follow in our every day lives! He funded the Jews! FOR HIS FAMILY'S NEEDS!

He accepted gifts from the Jews and his shield was even put up as collateral on loan when he died.
The basic principle of doing business (ie cramming mouth with sinfully delicious fries which McDonald's provides which the Jews support) with the Jews is PERMISSIBLE!
It is the physical selling of weapons of war that is haram.

Ah yes, to those who believe that by buying Jewish products we are actually funding their weapon buying, I have this to put your mind at ease (?).

Why do we automatically assume that our money goes to the funding of the war against Islam?
Rasulullah taught us to respect those who are not Muslims and isn't giving the benefit of the doubt to those who are not Muslim a form of respect?
Why can't we assume (or give the Jews the benefit of the doubt) that they use our money to build schools? To build roads? To help those who are injured? To fund a hospital?

This might sound naive and all and some of you might think that I'm doing this just so I can continue eating my french fries without guilt consuming my every fibre.

Partly that's true but mostly this is just to educate those who can't see beyond what they were taught to think.

Yes, boycott is legislated. However, it is only permissible to boycott on TWO ocassions.

To quote Shaykh 'Ubad Al-Jaabiree;
Boycotting remains (legislated) until the Day of Standing, without a doubt.

Boycotting is of two types:

[A] A boycott that leads them to the boycott of the corruption of a specific individual due to his innovations and disobedience. This type is for the senior scholars, the imaams.

[B] Also there is also hajr wiqaa'ee (self-protective boycotting). Hajr wiqaa'ee is when you, by your own self, boycott an innovator. You know that he is an enemy to the Sunnah and its people. And you know that his usool (foundations) are not upon the Sunnah. Then you may boycott him on your own - you do not visit him or invite him to visit you, you do not sit where he sits, you may do this.

(www.bakkah.net)

Thus I conclude this post. I hope you have read this with an open mind for I wrote this with an open heart.

Every good that came of this is from Allah the All Mighty and what bad that comes out of this is by my hands alone.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin

The Filler

2009-01-15T02:36:00.001+08:00

This is just a filler before I write my big so-called 'controversial' post on my blog right here.

I haven't been able to gather enough information about it just yet but what I have so far is really hardcore stuff. Stuff that will blow your mind...if you allow your mind to be blown of course.

So anyway...be patient my dear readers.

You Know What I Hate?

2009-01-10T01:38:00.001+08:00

Recently, my eyes were opened to the fact that Malay people are judged by what they watch, what they listen to...and so on.
I believe that being proud of your ethnicity is all fine and dandy but you can't pinpoint as to WHAT makes you a Malay, an Indian, a Chinese, a Eurasian, an American, a Latino, a Filipino...etc. You are what you are
I am proud to be called a Malay for one thing and one thing only. If you're Malay, people automatically assume you're Muslim. Yeah I know, it's weird since not all Malays are Muslims but the fact that people will automatically assume you're a Muslim is something to be proud of. Muslims have a long line of accomplishments that we can be proud of. None of them evident in the modern world but us Muslims, we know what the people before us have done to make us proud of who we are.
Now don't get me wrong, Malays are known for a lot of good things. In Singapore, Yusuf Ishak was the first 'father' of Singapore; he's Singapore's answer to Abe Lincoln and the other presidents on the American notes. The fact is, his face has been on our notes for longer than any other presidents in the world combined. (I'm exaggerating but who cares)
In other things, Malays make the best food ever. Fattening and oily, yes but oh so good.
And some other stuff I can't think of right now, but yeah okay...Malays are okay.
I'm straying off topic as always but really. It irks me that people can actually say: "Kau bukan melayu sebab kau tak tengok drama Melayu, tak dengar lagu melayu, tak tau artis Melayu...WHATever." (You're not Malay if you don't watch Malay drama, don't listen to Malay songs, don't know Malay artists) It doesn't make me English by watching their shows, listening to their music or know the stars! It is just MY CHOICE to like stuff (ie music, movies, food, stars) that are English! Is it really THAT BAD?!
At least I'm not gallivanting around with piercings all over my body, dye in my hair, clothes that hug my body like second skin like those other mats and minahs who say that they're PROUD TO BE MALAYS. Suck on this you losers.
I guess all I'm trying to say is that I hate stereotypes. I hate it so much it just makes me so ANGRY! Why can't people like other people as they are, with all their quirks and flaws?
Why can't Malay people accept other Malay people who can speak fluent non-Malay languages?
Why can't Malay people just accept other Malay people who dislike Malay songs or dramas or know the artists?
Why is it so hard to just BITE YOUR TONGUE when you hear: "Oh I don't listen to Malay radio because I JUST DON'T LIKE IT." rather than say "Kau bukan orang Melayu ke? Kau anak mat salleh eh?? Macam kacang lupekan kulit" (Aren't you Malay? Are you English? As though you have forgotten where you came from) or whatever comments you have pertaining to said sentence.
It's just unfair to me that all my life, I've lived with loving English. I was raised in an English speaking home, English speaking environment and now I'm being condemned because of it.
For your information, I DO know who Siti Nurhaliza is. I HAVE watched Cinta Fotokopi (didn't enjoy it but that's beside the point). I DO know which channel Radio Warna is on. Get off my back.
Feel free to comment. Want to flag this blog? Be my guest.
I'll just make a new one.

The Terrible Things

2009-01-05T03:58:00.003+08:00

Are the Isrealis really to be blamed?
Or the Hamas?
Isreali women and children, wounded and/or killed.
Palestinian women and children, killed and/or wounded.
What are we doing? Eating our chips, eating our nuts, sleeping, laughing with family members, safe in the arms of the ones we love, not in constant fear of husbands, wives, children, brothers, sisters, cousins, mothers, fathers, being killed off one by one.
True, we can't do much. We can pray. Pray that our Muslim brothers and sisters remember Allah. For He is the ONLY ONE who has the power to change things around. It is this time, it is this hour that our brothers and sisters NEED to seek Allah's help.

Frightening images on CNN have caused me to stop watching TV. There goes my new years resolution.
Blackness, then suddenly, fire erupts. Total blackness again, then explosions can be heard.
Smoke...
Gunshots...
Screams...
Blackness.

Twilight Movie Review

2009-01-04T05:55:00.001+08:00

Countdown to being 20: 4 months 3 days

Date: 4 January 2009

Venue: On the bed in the room

I watched Twilight!

And popular belief got the best of me and I was sorely disappointed. I kept an open mind that maybe I won't be THAT disappointed but I was. Robert Pattinson's face didn't really make up for it either. Okay...it did...but just a wee bit!

Okay...let's try to be diplomatic about this review lest I get murdered by rotten tomatoes from huge fans of THE MOVIE (note that I said the movie, not the book. Because they are separate entities and I, of all people, should accept the fact that no movie will ever be better than the book...except Fight Club. :D)

Firstly, the cinematography could have been tweaked a little to make it so much better because (as my friend had mentioned) Twilight shouldn't really have the indie movie appeal (which Catherine Hardwicke seems more at home with).

The acting was ridiculously wooden.

Yes, it's true that we can't expect what we had imagined (while reading the book) to be portrayed on the big screen but even without reading the book, we should know that VAMPIRES ARE SMOOTH! They are gliders in action, speech...well EVERYTHING really! Whereas the Cullens in the movie (apart from Carlisle. Carlisle made me fan myself) did not really portray that confidence and (dare I say) arrogance that vampires naturally possess. Although I have to admit that Rosalie (Nikki Reed, pretty lady) played out the arrogance pretty neatly. And I liked the part where she broke the bowl. That was funny.

The chemistry that was portrayed (Charlie+Bella, Edward+Bella, Emmett+Rosalie, Alice+Jasper) made me smile. That was one highlight of the whole movie. Charlie was adorable and I liked how he (Billy Burke) portrayed his character.

I was very, very disappointed by how the others portrayed their respective characters though.
To quote Bella, Edward's 'mood swings are kinda giving me whiplash'. Yes Edward is supposed to be mysterious and brooding and has trouble resisting drinking Bella's delicious blood (his brand of heroine apparently) but really! Wooden ALL THE WAY! His speech was gaited and the way he played the wrong emotions in the wrong lines kind of sucked.

Alice...I was hoping she would be bubbly and expressive and full of emotion but all seven (no I didn't count. Random guess) lines that she delivered were...to put it blandly...subdued. I didn't warm up to Ashley Greene's portrayal of the 'life of the party' Alice Cullen at all.

Bella wasn't clumsy enough. :D REALLY! She just slipped on the ice, she knocked down the apple and that was pretty much it. At least ones that I was concentrating enough on. Redemption comes in how 'human' she was. How she stumbled over her words, how annoyed she was with Edward, how she laughed at the smallest of things. And of course, her struggle in resisting Edward. It was fun to watch.

Okay now to the things that I absolutely LOVED about the movie.

Number one will ALWAYS BE the baseball scene. :D WHO DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME??!! Am I right or am I right?! That has got to be the saviour of the whole movie, I must say. Jasper's baseball bat twirling was wicked lush!

I loved that scene starting from when Alice announced that "It's time" with that secretive smile up till Victoria said "I'm the one with the wicked curveball" and after that it was..."I could do without any of THAT". Okay maybe not THAT drastic but along those lines.

Number two is definitely the ballet studio scene. I cringed when Alice looked like she was about to bite Bella's fingers off. Heh.

And what I really loved about that scene was how Bella struggled with the venom coursing through her. That felt real. That was how I imagined Bella would be. Although what put me off was Edward's reaction. Again with the woodenness!! But I still liked it.

And the scene that tickled my funny bone was when Charlie cocked the gun right before he asked Bella to bring Edward in. And of course...the drawing of the halo on top of his head. Heh. That was funny.

Okay two tiniest of tiny scenes that I lurved was when Edward and Bella exchanged the "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb" line. And I'm very obligated to enter these lines accompanying the previous one. "What a stupid lamb." -Bella "What a sick masochistic lion." -Edward. Sigh. And the other one is the line Edward executed PERFECTLY in my opinion. "Edward Cullen: That's all superhero stuff, right? What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm...the bad guy?" I swooned when he said: "...the bad guy" the emphasis on bad...aiii. Badump a dump dump. Be still my heart.

I suppose the ending made me smile too. The part where Victoria turns around, releases her hair from her clip and walks down the stairs with that wicked grin. Whoa.

If I gave it stars out of five, 2 would be a safe bet due to less than perfect cinematography, lack of smoothness from the lead actors and the fact that it dragged at very inappropriate times. The thought of exiting the movie theatre even crept into my head halfway through the movie!

Last call, the book was easier to digest and I liked what I saw in my head rather than what I saw on the screen. The movie might have been good to virgin Twilighters (those who haven’t read the book, obviously) but to fans of the book, don’t butcher the movie. It didn’t meet up to our high expectations but it was done. So there.

Thereby Rising from the Ashes

2009-01-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

Countdown to being 20 : 4 month 4 days

Date : 2 January 2009

Venue: On the bed in the room

My very first post for the new year. I stand before the web a brand new me...sort of.

Being a sheep, I would like to start this first posting and new year with a resolution. Several resolutions in fact (although studies have shown that depression is rampant while said resolutions are being made).

1. By the end of this year, I want to be able to behind the wheel of a car, driving 90 km/h on the highway with ease.

2. By the end of this year, I'd have at least been able to pass through one semester of college.

3. By the end of this year, I want to at least finish one decent story.

4. Make the kids love me enough to be able to not cry out for their mothers whenever they're around me.

5. Dare I say . . . a prospect . . . a proposal *sighs while poking forefingers against each other*

6. Be confident (this being the same as stop being such a wussy crybaby).

7. Although the damage is irreparable, don't poke the flames any more than it has already been poked.

8. Acquire a stable job (read: produce moolah and lots of it)

And that is as far as I could go.

8 things to do before this year expires...shouldn't be hard. :D

Ah yes...with this, my new blog's arrival commences.