tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81123615443441642752024-03-13T07:33:18.574+08:00:: PhoenixNoir ::::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-88279919199082933322015-02-16T10:30:00.001+08:002015-02-16T10:30:16.689+08:00I'm Not The OneTo my future husband,<div>
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I may not look like a million bucks but I won't use you like an ATM machine.</div>
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I've grown up carrying my own bags, so I won't use you as an overhead compartment.</div>
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I've been watching movies and TV shows alone so if you find a genre unbearable, I won't force you to join me and cringe at all the things that make me laugh and cry.</div>
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I know I may not be the one guys chase or choose over another girl and I don't expect you to either.</div>
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As long as you know that I will make you feel like a billion dollars whenever you make me laugh.</div>
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I won't pull you to do things that are forbidden in Islam.</div>
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All you have to do is guide me on the right path. Wake up with me during Fajr. Make sure I go out of the house fully covered. And help me go to sleep with Allah in my heart and you on my mind and a smile on my face.</div>
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It doesn't take much to be someone I love.</div>
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Love,</div>
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Your Kind of Sappy but Kind of Cute Future Wife</div>
::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-28481370768768546352012-06-14T07:29:00.002+08:002012-06-14T10:10:15.284+08:00I shouldn't feel bad about being a bad writer. I miss things. I'm oblivious about a lot of things. I mess things up royally but in the end, it shouldn't make me feel bad that I'm ruining a fictional character's life. It just wouldn't make sense that I've cried stupid tears over things that I actually have control over. Or not. I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like giving up. Like I truly believe my writing partners would benefit with a different partner and I should just give up. They say things that I feel I should get but I don't and it hurts my brain whenever I don't do things right and I feel like it's not worth it.<br />
<br />
It doesn't make me feel good about myself whenever my writing partners have other writing partners who know them better than I do. It sort of makes me feel second best and that doesn't feel good. To know that you're second best to anything. Like you wouldn't amount to anything because there would always be someone else who was better than you.<br />
<br />
I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. Why I keep caring for people who don't quite care about me the same way. Suppose it's punishment? Suppose it's retribution for not putting all my faith into Allah. Suppose I just don't deserve to be happy with people.<br />
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There's nothing suicidal about this post. It's just something I've always believed. I don't know why I don't change things when I'm fully aware of the cause. That's sheer stupidity isn't it? Full on ignorance and what...egoism? I don't know but it sure as hell hurts.::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-51990710704652420482012-05-30T15:22:00.001+08:002012-05-30T15:22:33.279+08:00I am so sad. So very very sad.You know your "<i>Forever alone</i>" status is cemented when your fictional characters' love lives affect you more than your own.::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-1385811732343892792012-04-03T14:10:00.001+08:002012-04-03T14:12:52.499+08:00TLDR...or read...Be bored...whatever xp ^^ 8D xD and other misc. icons<div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>*brushes off dust bunnies, blows off cobwebs*</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>You're still here. Despite my absence. I may be <a href="http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/619/Untitled-1.jpg">this</a> </span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">but you've been faithfully lurking in the interwebs, waiting for me to fill you up.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>...</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Or probably plotting my demise with Cthulhu. I don't know...</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Despite my previous posts, I've found myself back in school. Doing Syariah of all things. It was the last thing I thought I would do and it's proved beneficial to me, unsurprisingly. Although how I got to where I am right now had been tumultuous, I'm hoping things would get better as I go along. I honestly feel that even though I won't be able to go any further; here or elsewhere, I'd still have this basic to fall back on. </span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>And of course, a blog post of mine would not be complete without a little love story. Or lack thereof really. Even a simple smile of his, even if it wasn't directed at me, fills me with...I dunno...light. It's this amazing calm I get whenever his name is mentioned, contrary to most of how I have felt before. I'm not saying this difference is anything to go by since he's not available but if I can be this calm and remember Allah just by being around him, I don't care if there isn't a future there.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Like I even have a future in that aspect.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>I was selected to spearhead a graduating committee two weeks before my midterms; the reason behind it was apparently because my lecturer wanted the students in my batch [first cohorts, I'm repeatedly reminded] to have the experience of doing something.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>My team was dedicated to be sure because I got sick for one week [more on that later] and work still went on. I had nothing to worry about. That is, of course, until I got back. But come Graduation Day, everything went super smoothly. Minor glitches, since it WAS our first time [working together and doing anything on this scale], but other than that, my lecturer and the people involved were pretty satisfied with the work. I couldn't take all the credit and I still feel bad about the one week absence where everything was done.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>So about the sick. One whole week! The longest I've ever been sick. And all because of a mouth infection. Funny thing was that it didn't even START as a mouth infection. Or at least not that I was aware. I got a high fever and then got better and then got a high fever again for the whole week. It was only on the third day of my feverish week that I found out the only reason I was even sick in the first place was from the mouth infection. The doctor felt sorry for me. Though at least she said I wasn't the worst case she'd seen.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>That made me feel MUCH better [seen here: sarcasm]</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Hmm...what else of importance happened...</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Well, I suppose I should say my relationship with THEM have not gotten any better. So much about them still pisses me off. Even my brother is getting sick of the bullshit they've been involved with. I swear to Allah, it's like they don't ever learn. Once I think it would be fine in our little world, it dies right then and there. Honestly, I have no idea what in the hell is going on. I'm pretty sure it will only get worst from here.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>And there's this thing about me when I get to a new environment like school, or class, or work, I promise myself not to get involved in friendships and other unnecessary things like that. It helps me concentrate. This isn't even me joking either. It's been proven time and again. And for the first few weeks at this new school, that worked out pretty well. I was sure I could handle not having any friendships and other unnecessary things like that.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>The others were pretty persistent to prove me wrong unfortunately and I found myself liking them more and more to a point that I lost a lot of my drive. Worst of all, I started getting Feelings. Sure, they're not necessarily bad...in doses. But it's come to a stage where because one of them has sort of alienated me [probably due to finding out how annoying I actually am], I'm feeling very down now. Like...really. </span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>I'm not the type of person who needs constant attention, don't get me wrong. Most of the time, attention is the LAST thing I want from ANYONE. I'm good when people leave me alone. But that's the problem with having Feelings for people. Because for me, the moment I have these Feelings, the person I have Feelings for need to give me constant attention. I crave it constantly to the point of it being unhealthy. And it makes me mad because I'm [funnily enough] usually a well-adjusted person with HEALTHY obsessions!</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>...</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>I digress.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>So in conclusion, I still probably haven't matured enough. I'm still thinking like a child despite my best efforts not to do so. Frustrating as it is, I've learnt to accept that fact because I am at least twice what some other girls my age are like. And for that alone, I am immensely grateful. Alhamdulillah.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Lawd, this post is LONG. Sowieeeeee ^^</span></div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-9426812909476137962011-03-09T23:27:00.002+08:002011-03-10T00:01:04.062+08:00The Dangers of Being FamilyI don't know. <div><br /></div><div>I just don't know what the f*** is happening.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's like a Hindustani movie, without the pretty costumes and running around a tree and special effects. </div><div><br /></div><div>How can two people be so damn toxic? *headdesks repeatedly* Tak pasal pasal can just shoot their mouths like that and expect people to act like nothing happened? And still expect to be waited on hand and foot? How is it possible that such people can breathe the same air as me?</div><div><br /></div><div>MAN UP HAVE THE BALLS TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY YOU SELFISH SELF-CENTERED GUTLESS PIECES OF FECES. </div><div><br /></div><div>Disappointment, hurt and anger don't quite match how I feel right now. I feel like pushing you down a flight of stairs and hope you LIVE through it.</div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-9156389302591503422010-11-22T19:48:00.003+08:002010-11-22T20:14:41.929+08:00With Only The Grace of Allah Can We Learn<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.ias.org/images/bismillah2.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 138px;" src="http://www.ias.org/images/bismillah2.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>In regards to this heinous comment left by a disbeliever, (<a href="http://media.causes.com/949555?m=2cd102e6">http://media.causes.com/949555?m=2cd102e6</a>) this is my reply.<div><br /></div><div>Freedom of speech is no longer truth spoken out loud. To be fair, there may be some things in this world left to be spoken about; genocide, abortions, animal rights...those are valid points in lieu of freedom of speech. But when it comes to condemning a beautiful and amazingly pure religion such as Islam, freedom of speech is viewed rather in bias. When Christianity or Judaism or Buddhism or what of you are condemned, the common reply to that would be slander. It would be vicious condemnation or cruelty towards the religion and when it comes to plaguing Islam, it's freedom of speech?</div><div><br /></div><div>I digress.</div><div><br /></div><div>The beauty of this religion, as a Muslimah myself, I am thoroughly well protected. I am covered because Allah wishes not for just anyone to see my beauty. I am at home because Allah wishes for me to be able to take care of my children the best possible way. My husband or father is my caregiver and all I have to do is submit myself to the one and only Allah. Women are promised Jannah by being a dutiful daughter, a humble servant to Allah and a respectful wife. Our only challenge is childbirth. </div><div><br /></div><div>As stated in the article linked, he mentioned women being stoned and 'raped and discarded when the husband feels like it'. <i>Naudzubillahi min dzalik</i>. <i>Wallahi</i> in all my life, none of the married women I personally knew have ever been subjected to such cruelties. All my sisters in law and my sister are well taken care of by their husbands and <i>masya Allah </i>they are well adjusted, their children perfectly fine. </div><div><br /></div><div>Needless to say, if you have the absolute need to condemn a religion, the least you could do is get a good research done on it and not just rely on the information you get from one sided documentaries and movies or TV shows that clearly portray a ludicrous version of what Islam truly is.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Wallahu a'lam bissawab</i>. </div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-47804893459788938482010-11-14T02:42:00.001+08:002010-11-14T02:49:40.332+08:00Apparently I should put in Toxic but I felt this was a better title :)<div><div>RULES :</div><div><br /></div><div>Put your music library on shuffle.</div><div><br /></div><div>For each question, press the next button to get your answer.</div><div><br /></div><div>You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds! Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ok, go!</div><div><br /></div><div>The answer to #20 is the Title of your note.</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say</div><div>As If (Blaque) - ?</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>2. How would you describe yourself?</div><div>Baby One More Time (Britney Spears) - In my defense, this is the Glee version</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>3. What do you like in a guy/girl?</div><div>You're The One I Want (John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John)</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>4. How do you feel today?</div><div>Let It Rock (I don't know who the artist is)</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>5. What is your life’s purpose?</div><div>Taking Chances (Celine Dion) - :)</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>6. What's your motto?</div><div>Black and Gold (Again, no idea who)</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>7. What do your friends think of you?</div><div>Hello (Lionel Ritchie) - Taken out of context, my friends sound like creeps. Sowie y'all. I do love you!</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>8. What do you think of your parents?</div><div>Valentine (Kina Grannis) - Well I do love my parents</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>9. What do you think about very often</div><div>California Gurls (Katy Perry) - o.o</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>10. What is 2 + 2?</div><div>Down (Jay Sean) - yes, four down...many more to go</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?</div><div>Empire State of Mind (Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys) - They don't sleep? Okay..</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>12. What do you think of the person you like?</div><div>SOS (Rihanna) - Yes I need help</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>13. What is your life story?</div><div>Marching On (Timbaland and some group) - I would like to think this does say something about me</div><div><br /></div><div>14. What do you want to be when you grow up?</div><div>Padamkan Cerita Cintamu (Syed Azmir) - Wow...WHAT??</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?</div><div>The Show (Lenka) - haha, I think he's a show?</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>16. What will you dance to at your wedding?</div><div>Total Eclipse of the Heart (Uhm...) - LOL OMG ROFLMAO</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>17. What will they play at your funeral?</div><div>Faithfully (Journey) - I'm forever yoooours, coffin</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>18. What is your biggest fear?</div><div>Introducing Me (Nick Jonas) - I doubt my biggest fear is introducing myself...</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>19. What is your biggest secret?</div><div>Black Sheep (Metric) - This speaks volumes</div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>20. What will you post this as?</div><div>Toxic (Britney Spears) - Again, in my defense...Glee crazy!</div></div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-61226838011454638232010-09-27T07:06:00.000+08:002010-09-27T07:07:06.036+08:00Squeeee I'm writing again!Who knew Liam Neeson could be oh so delicious? <br /><br />After watching "The A-Team", my view of Bradley Cooper got that much higher. Truth be told, I used to think he was better at being a complete jerk. But movie after movie, Bradley Cooper just becomes better and better. He's played a conniving best friend, a comedic side kick, a backstabbing husband and to add to all this, a very...very hot "Ranger" in the remake of a TV series that I admittedly have never even heard of >.<<br /><br />Of course, I didn't watch the movie just because it had FOUR billed actors on it [not including a cameo by Jon Hamm]...okay well maybe I did [who knew cutesy Patrick Wilson was funny??] but by the end of the movie, I just couldn't care less about the actors, all I wanted was for Murdock, Face, BA and Hannibal to get out of that damned truck alive. <br /><br />The lines were so damn funny. I especially liked it when Hannibal says: "Cash don't buy guts kid. On you're short on both." And I liked the camaraderie between Murdock and BA with the former's coconut curry tapenade being the one thing that soothes the savage beast. Oh, with the toast points, of course. We can't forget the toast points. With Hannibal and Face, their almost father son vibe though touched lightly was pretty cute. Patrick Wilson played his role pretty neatly. He had a sort of petulant psychotic thing going for him and it made for great comedy that dude.<br /><br />I love the execution of the plans from saving Face in Mexico, to the chopper escape, to the money plate heist in Baghdad and right down to exposing Lynch/Burris. And how can I forget the kiss and the key transfer? I liked that one very very much. <br /><br />Hats off to director Joe Carnahan and to him I say you planned well and "I love it when a plan comes together."::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-51128687198036455042010-07-15T10:14:00.003+08:002010-07-15T13:57:02.957+08:00Lawyered. Of NatureMy last post was...a little over two months ago. The anal retentive in me just had to check. :p<div><br /></div><div>I haven't summed up the energy or focus to write in this blog simply because my life is a mess. Most call me lucky not having anything to do; just laze around at home, get my muscles well atrophied, squashing grapes or 'menganggur' to those who are Malay literate. </div><div><br /></div><div>The grass is always greener on the other side and for us human beings, we lack faith and grace and humility when it comes to feeling grateful for our own patch of grass. Sure there are times when I can just smile whenever I hear my fellow brothers and sisters complain about their hard day's work and getting peanuts for pay. Sure I can hold it in when someone says I have it easy, just being at home without work to grumble about. But to be perfectly honest, being at home, albeit being surrounded by people I love, isn't all that cracked up to be.</div><div><br /></div><div>For one, you have WAY too much time to think. Haha, go wise crack about me being able to think somewhere else, thanks. I have a very unsettled mind. I'm unfocused and I'm unwilling to stop thinking. It's like I can have nine thoughts running through my head and it would literally give me a headache. And that's when I'm actually moving around. And now that I have 'time to myself' it is so hard to concentrate on anything and sometimes, I can just lay on my bed, being catatonic. </div><div><br /></div><div>For the most part, sure I'm absolutely grateful I have no other responsibilities other than say, washing the dishes or doing my own laundry and then there are times when I wish I had something to leave my room for.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm twenty-one years old now and I'm unemployed, uneducated and unmarried. If I was living in the 18th century, I would be called obsolete...oh...I still could be called obsolete now? Good to know. Fancy that, I'm obsolete in two centuries. </div><div><br /></div><div>Don't get me wrong, it's not like I do nothing about it. I've tried to look for a job and I found a perfect one but circumstances changed, and I found myself having to give up that perfect job. </div><div><br /></div><div>Studies? Don't get me started on that. To explain why I can't continue my studies, I'd have to write a book on it. I won't bore you with the details but nothing I want to do, pleases anyone I need to appease. </div><div><br /></div><div>And marriage? *Chuckles derisively* "Oh yes I'm very interested in you. I'm invested in being with you for the rest of your life." And not even a few months later... "Dude, just met a new girl. She's like way hotter, way better than you you won't believe it." Once is hard enough, let me tell you. But try multiplying it by three. Get my drift? And to those who tell me that any guy would be just damn lucky to have me in their lives, I say to you, you suck. You suck total ducks. If they were 'damn lucky' to have me in their lives, you would think they would try to get in on the action themselves.</div><div><br /></div><div>Getting my license at this point would be a Godsend but of course...what is my life but one challenge after the other? I am the perfect human example of Sod's Law. Funny that. I'm a sod of law. If the world was Marshall Eriksen, I'd be hearing this: "Lawyered. Of Nature."</div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-36534628834955836432010-05-12T00:47:00.002+08:002010-05-12T01:06:11.980+08:00Silence!You know how sometimes your face mimics how your day has been? You don't mean to but everyone around you will be effected by that sour expression you have. The exasperated sighs you emit. The silent treatment you give out. Sometimes you wish someone would just ask: "How's your day been? I've got a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen." But no one really does, do they?<div><br /></div><div>They want to assume the worst. Some self-deprecating loser would think: "Is it me? Why is she/he giving me the long face? What did I do wrong?" And they will start feeling bad about themselves, throw themselves into the things they wish would make things better but in truth, it really doesn't. That person is going to continue being sour, emitting exasperated sighs and giving you the silent treatment.</div><div><br /></div><div>So what's the point about trying to make the situation better? Honestly? I have no clue since I am that 'some self-deprecating loser'. I always wonder what would be the one thing to make everything right? I hate being treated like I'm the plague. I suppose I could chalk it up to the fact that people would much rather blow up a mistake rather than accepting an honorable deed. Like...you can do so many good things for someone but they will only remember the one wrong thing you did or didn't do. </div><div><br /></div><div>The past few years, a lot of things have happened to me. I don't really highlight any of the events here but to skim it over, I have been rejected three times, worked like a dog, treated like an ex-con and the most valuable advice I got for all that is to just suffer through it in silence. And the little things I most appreciate; getting a smile for a good deed done or being appreciated for what good I HAVE done, are the things that people I care about rarely give me. </div><div><br /></div><div>Some know me as a selfish ungrateful brat and for the most part, it's known to be true. But instead of looking at the good I've done, little things over time, I'm always being measured up to the impossibly high standards or just viewed as that selfish ungrateful brat. One little mistake can be blown out of proportion. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am expected to suffer in silence, plaster a smile on my face, grit my teeth and continue being the poster child for rejection all at once.</div><div><br /></div><div>The past few years have basically been one bootcamp after another for me. Heartache after rejection after pain. But I'm suffering in silence of course. How can I not? No one's willing to listen. And the one person who's practically been forced to probably wants me to just shut up. </div><div><br /></div><div>My oh my...angst all over. *Cracks neck* </div><div><br /></div><div>What a way to start off 21 eh?</div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-48060511761735724882010-05-07T05:46:00.003+08:002010-05-07T06:20:52.482+08:00A massive decrease in maturityDecember 3rd was my last post. <div><br /></div><div>December 3rd of last year. * goes to check calendar*</div><div><br /></div><div>FIVE MONTHS!!</div><div>Five months of inactivity! </div><div><br /></div><div>Update... *snigger* It's so cute how I think people read this blog willingly.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I *unsurprisingly* put on a LOT of weight over the past months and I have no inclination to lose it because food is so friggen delicious when it's consumed at 6 am in the morning. Especially when no one's looking.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have *unwillingly* become a lapdog for someone I don't even like. Nothing new really. Just wanted to let people know that Nurul is capable of not liking people. </div><div><br /></div><div>(Take the time to do a double triple quadruple take. ... Done? Excellent)</div><div><br /></div><div>I am a year older and ten years more immature. Now see that's not surprising is it? I hardly think so either but just had to make sure people remember that.</div><div><br /></div><div>My renewed love for Michael Buble makes me tingly all over. Yes, I do believe he does too many covers more than originals but come on...at least he's no Westlife. (Oh no she din't! *whipping sound*)</div><div><br /></div><div>Random TV show list!</div><div><br /></div><div>How I Met Your Mother - Ted!! Stop making bad decisions!! Barndoor...oh he cracks me up.</div><div>The Big Bang Theory - Make Sheldon smile, make babies cry, make me laugh!</div><div>Accidentally On Purpose - BABY!!</div><div>Supernatural - Fight already you incestuous comment inducing hotties!</div><div>The Vampire Diaries - Elena does not deserve either one of the Salvatore brothers. She just doesn't.</div><div>Glee - Make Sue dance more! And pile on the 'You're a Slut' and hair insults for Will Schuester!</div><div>Romantically Challenged - Alyssa Milano is coming back as an older version of Sam! How could this ever go wrong? :D</div><div><br /></div><div>And of course if the date is indicative of anything, it's this. I am expected to act according to an increase of digits in my birth years. I know, tough. But, I'm not going to justify it by being a lazy sloppy baby! I'll try and try I will. As Yoda articulated, Try, there is no do :p (of course I know he didn't say that. That was obviously a line from Star Trek. ^^)</div><div><br /></div><div>Well...to wrap it all up, it's been an awesome five months. See what I did there? That's sarcasm.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm making up a resolution. To stick to the resolutions I have made. </div><div><br /></div><div>Post number 64...</div><div><br /></div><div>I can't wait for what I can come up with for my 69th post!</div><div><br /></div><div>..</div><div>What?</div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-23643035348051162182009-12-03T15:47:00.002+08:002009-12-03T15:54:02.657+08:00Stale Nachos<div>On a lighter note. Saw New Moon today. It monumentally sucked and disappointed. Blergh. Cinematography inches better but execution wise? COULD BELLA SWAN STOP TWITCHING???!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>And what is UP with Robert Pattinson's wooden acting??</div><div><br /></div><div>The bulk of the movie was horrifying. Cheesy lines, cheesier moves and seriously...they need to change Bella's actor. Twitching is NOT by ANY circumstances acting!</div><div><br /></div><div>They miraculously gave Alice more reeltime so I was quite glad. And Jacob Black. Hello eight pack! I love the wolf pack. The transformation was quite flawless albeit so impossibly CGI. What I was expecting, I don't know but it wasn't so bad :)</div><div><br /></div><div>Jasper's attack scene, Paul and Jacob's fight scene, Victoria's appearance, the vampire/werewolf 'scuffle', the Volturi scene all captured my attention fully. But other than that, I was just slumped down in my seat muttering to the screen and avoiding glares from tweens who practically filled up the entire 50 seater cinema. </div><div><br /></div><div>The stale nachos were good though.</div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-62525811301531889282009-12-03T15:38:00.002+08:002009-12-03T15:47:25.073+08:00Eating Up Your LiverLet me preface this with the fact that it doesn't pinpoint to any one individual. Smoking is a bad habit. It pretty much ruined a miraculous chance for a person dear to my heart. I effing hate smoking. I don't necessarily hate the one doing it but if you do have that murderous habit...chances are I don't like you that much. <div><br /></div><div>And most of the smokers I've met all give me the same bull. They try to justify their actions. It doesn't work that way! You just don't effing get it, do you?? It's disgusting. It's deteriorating your innards. It's basically eating your liver bit by bit like a monster who loves to torture its victims. Whatever. I've never been good at euphemisms.</div><div><br /></div><div>*deep breath*</div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-32637146507424017592009-11-13T17:24:00.003+08:002009-11-13T18:20:17.838+08:0060 :D<div style="text-align: left;">*blows imaginary dust off blog*</div><div><br /></div><div>Wah...like...so long gitu haven't updated this blog. Heh. I wonder if I still have readers. Cheh...so perasan. ReaderS. Don't even think people read this blog at ALL.</div><div><br /></div><div>Nehmind. Anyway!</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FFFF;"><b><i>Updates on my life</i></b></span>. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm one day away from finishing my diploma :D And I got an <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF66;">A</span> for my grad project Whee! </div><div><br /></div><div>Moving to JB by <i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#6666CC;">THE END OF NEXT YEAR<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;">Why the emphasis? Well. BeCAuse. I haven't packed, I don't want to pack, not that I have a lot to pack anywho, ;) and the house isn't ready yet and there isn't a fixed date WHEN we're moving so yeza.</span></span></span></b></i></div><div><br /></div><div>Are there any heterosexual males out there willing to marry a crazy fat chick just so she could stay in Singapore? I'm rootin for one particular heterosexual male from a certain country somewhere who has issues to settle but right now I am willing to take ANY takers. If you are a woman who wants to marry me, feel free to don a wig and put socks in your drawls and ask muh daddy for my hand. I'LL DO ANYTHING</div><div><br /></div><div>*clears throat*</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FF33;">Moving on</span>. >.></div><div><br /></div><div>I have a niche for [in?] baking apparently. So with my sisters' help, we might start a moving bakery :D THAT will be for Johor. Pergh...Johor. What a taboo word.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've found people I truly and deeply love unconditionally.</div><div><br /></div><div>Nak tengok? Wanna see? *Want to see in seven different languages*? [apparently signs are universal]</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg095ALHLfrq2dmCgm9KZtSxaasZxZradZtlyyVkjSk3JqYHnCiSi3vqE-sp7AwG1PKMlwxAo_eImIUGpvFPfZdkmToJjazHwAUqX1Wj917mYjtcIazK8D7hR3ywFf6sUZmWHGvEZek_i0u/s400/SANY4939.JPG" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Aren't they gawjus? Blogverse, meet Amala and Fatima. Stalk them. They deserve it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I wuv them. I weeli doo.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">What other updates...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">AH! It's almost the end of the year and you know what? I managed to get four out of eight things on my resolutions list done :D</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I won't say which ones BUT one of them has gotten me grinning from ear to ear. *insert creepy laugh* </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I need to friggen DRIVE!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">60th post :D</div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-1999963864843808002009-09-17T09:13:00.002+08:002009-09-17T09:26:08.708+08:00My baby!*giggle*<br /><br />hi.<br /><br />Did you miss me? I highly doubt it. But newsworthy moment right here. I know I didn't even say that the laptop I was using got messed up big time but it did. Cracked in the corner, flowery (gross) design climbing up the side of the laptop screen courtesy of my nose picker and my maggi mee baby.<br /><br />I have finally acquired a new laptop. Yes. My own. Well...technically mum's since she paid the bulk of it but some actually came from money I had saved up and also money that I got after I sold a bulk of my stuff. No not on eBay. I'm very ancient that way.<br /><br />Went through the rough and tough of Comex just to get the best price for it. All worth it. Because...unlimited use and Mr C ^^<br /><br />Currently my nose picker is rolling around between my legs like a cat trying to find a good spot to sleep. And he has my phone so he's quiet.<br /><br />Back to laptop. Wanna see my new baby?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.futurebazaar.com/catalog/FBIL/ComputerAndOffice/106616958/M1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 340px;" src="http://images.futurebazaar.com/catalog/FBIL/ComputerAndOffice/106616958/M1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Isn't he precious? He's my new Mr D.<br /></div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-25929254770490575442009-08-22T07:50:00.001+08:002009-08-22T07:51:36.658+08:00be mine<span><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span></span><br /><span>but it's a good excuse to put our love to use</span><br /><span>baby i know what to do, baby i will love you</span><br /><span>i'll love you, i'll love you.</span><br /><span></span><br /><span>love, i don't need those things</span><br /><span>i don't need no ring</span><br /><span>i don't need anything</span><br /><span>but you with me, cause in your company</span><br /><span>i feel happy oh so happy and complete</span><br /><br />Missing you already, Mr C. Have fun reading up :)<br /><span></span></div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-53110389965589570202009-08-11T19:07:00.002+08:002009-08-11T19:33:36.660+08:00It's Coming!!Ramadhan's almost coming! I can't wait! FINALLY! One whole month of infinite discoveries, possibilities and being free of our damned enemies.<br /><br />I love the fact that it's on this one month that I'm able to not succumb too much to my whims and simple pleasures and every year, I have to say, one by one a bit of myself changes Alhamdulillah.<br /><br />May Allah bless us all this coming Ramadhan my brothers and sisters in Islam. May our hearts be opened and our faiths be restored.<br /><br />Amin.::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-22512790191356456852009-07-29T01:26:00.003+08:002009-07-29T09:00:29.524+08:00Learn to not question it<div style="text-align: center;">Mr C: true. besides, it is your fault for making me go to mush<br />realityaddicted: i hardly think it's my fault<br />realityaddicted: who was the one who said it first?<br />realityaddicted: who was the one who started turning on the charms?<br />Mr C: who was the person who made the other person do all that? lol<br />Mr C: wait, did I say it first?<br />realityaddicted: DUDE<br />realityaddicted: All I asked was for you to tell me something you haven't told me<br />Mr C: oh yeah!<br />Mr C: see<br />Mr C: your fault!<br />realityaddicted: how was I supposed to know you were gonna tell me what you told me<br />realityaddicted: I mean<br />realityaddicted: I had expected you to tell me that you were afraid of mold or something<br />Mr C: haha, so I surprised you there<br />realityaddicted: surprise doesn't even cover it<br />Mr C: well, I do like surprising you<br /><br />realityaddicted: Nice<br />realityaddicted: Something nice about you<br />realityaddicted: Can't think of anything nice to say about you<br />realityaddicted: Because....<br />realityaddicted: You're not nice<br />realityaddicted: You're my brand of perfection<br />realityaddicted: You're not nice<br />realityaddicted: You're amazingly sweet<br />realityaddicted: You're not nice<br />realityaddicted: You're everything that's right<br /><br />realityaddicted: If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them, but if they loved you back they'd never ask you to.<br />realityaddicted: Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over.<br />realityaddicted: Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly moving on. Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same.<br />Mr C: yep, I am a sap. I love those quotes<br />Mr C: but, I am your sap<br />realityaddicted: Yes you are<br />Mr C: the second is my favourite<br />realityaddicted: yesh i thought it was appropriate<br />realityaddicted: Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.<br />Mr C: haha, I like that one<br />Mr C: where did you get all these?<br />Mr C: Love is waking up thinking of her, going to bed thinking of her, and spending all day hoping for just a fleeting moment of her time, so for that one moment, life is good.<br />realityaddicted: the innernet<br />realityaddicted: that's sweet<br />realityaddicted: where'd you find THAT<br />Mr C: well...<br />Mr C: about one minute ago, I wrote it<br /><br />Mr C: ok, I am a little bit scared. lol<br />Mr C: being with you is a bit like being with a mafia girl, I'm starting to think. lol<br />realityaddicted: well<br />realityaddicted: Aren't I worth it all?<br />Mr C: you're worth a lot more<br /><br />Mr C: so, you don't need me to remind you anymore?<br />realityaddicted: when have i ever asked you to remind me<br />Mr C: oh, so you don't need me to say it anymore?<br />Mr C: good to know<br />realityaddicted: (roll eyes icon)<br />Mr C: wise arse<br /><br />Mr C: you know babe, I'm starting to get the impression<br />Mr C: that you are very popular, got a lot of people who love you<br />realityaddicted: eh?<br />Mr C: the girl who won't get a chance to break my neck, lol, all your friends, other people who are quite happy to put the hurt on me<br />realityaddicted: uhm...<br />realityaddicted: ok?<br />Mr C: it's just reminding me, that if I ever do something stupid and hurt you<br />Mr C: I should go into hiding<br />Mr C: lol. I like my various body parts, I don't wish to lose them!<br /><br />Mr C: but, in my case, it's cause I'm hopeless, and need taking care of. lol<br /><br />Mr C: nah, I'm not silly<br />Mr C: I'm yours<br /><br />Mr C: hey! you know you're my highlight!<br />realityaddicted: Does that mean I glow?<br />Mr C: well, you sure do a lot of things.<br /><br />My daily sitcom.<br /></div>::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-44354801804862874172009-07-06T16:56:00.002+08:002009-07-06T17:14:36.021+08:00WellI hurt too. I have a heart that can break too. I have feelings that can be hurt too. Even in this situation, there's the reciprocation between two parties.<br /><br />I can't stress enough on how hurt I am right now. How my heart has broken. And how my feelings are hurting right now.<br /><br />Yes drama ensues in the life of the drama queen.<br /><br />On a lighter note. My brother's getting married this Friday. Jubilations abound. No school either :D Hope it goes well.::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-65679701316097776742009-07-05T00:54:00.002+08:002009-07-05T01:00:23.275+08:00My Mother, The CelebritySeeing my old school, old mates and old teachers was awkward. Not to mention the fact that I went in there as a guest; I was my grandmother's granddaughter, the legendary first woman principal of Alsagoff apparently. My mother was a celebrity (double giggle) and all I could do was nod and shake hands with her fans, identifying myself as her daughter.<br /><br />Exclamations of how big I've grown were made ("Yes I stuff myself with oil-laden chips every now and then because my mother loves me. Ha ha."), askance of what I'm doing, when I'll get married and what will I be doing after I'm done with what I'm currently doing were answered and then time to go home.<br /><br />Oh funny funny bus incident. Only me mum and myself know it and it will never leave my lips. My promise to me mum. Anyone who wants to know go ask my mummy. Don't worry, she won't bite. Much.<br /><br />Feeling slightly tired right now. Oh eyes. Have you finally adjusted to Mr. C's timing? Great...::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-21038212543992365952009-07-03T21:58:00.002+08:002009-07-03T22:04:56.920+08:00Very Freakish HabitI<br />Suck<br />At<br />Pool<br />:p<br /><br />So today was a fun day. Went out with my two main girls and we had a lot of fun. I lost my voice because of screaming and laughing throughout our time at the snooker cafe.<br /><br />We were subjected to China guys and Fuddy got checked out by this weird guy who had a very freakish habit of opening his mouth widely. Funny thin was that Fuddy was interested more in his friend; purple guy. Purple guy was keeeeeeeyooooooot!!! :)~<br /><br />Lala used the pussy stick too much but apparently she likes it so we just let her play with it.<br /><br />I didn't win. Well I did win once but that was only because Fuddy pocketed the 8 ball too early in the game. Lala and Fuddy basically pwned me<br /><br />Too tired to think of anything else right now...will possibly cont this tomorrow...MAYbe :D::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-56833058575419862162009-06-17T20:44:00.002+08:002009-06-17T21:26:58.558+08:00More ThanIf you're reading this, it's a three part story :D<br /><br />First is for Mr Jacob, our favorite cracker. :D<br /><br />So today, Jake decided to go out with our usual group and so KTV was the answer *giggle* invitations were made and then Jacob gave a suggestion to ask Venus and Kat and they all and Jacob rarely invites people so Jing, Fuddy, Jo, me and even Bobby urged him to ask Venus and Kat. Venus was out of the class so it was just Kat and so we prodded him to ask but he refused to do it.<br /><br />I'm not exactly sure which one of us started it but somehow, all of us started teasing him, telling him that it's not like he's asking her on a date or whatever. And that escalated to us making it a huge deal. Bobby and I even did the whole 'Greatest Pick-Up Line Ever' scene from HIMYM. And so we ALL decided maybe Jake had a thing for Kat. He's been REPRESSING it all this while that's why he didn't want to ask her and all. It was hilarious and it was one of the "You have to be there" situations.<br /><br />So all the way to Bugis, we teased him and Kat. We went to Pastamania! (yes there's an exclamation mark in there, I kid you not ;) ) and that's when they decided to go to Fish&Co where Kat works for dinner. Jake even didn't eat at Pastamania! coz he said he was 'saving for later'. LOL!<br /><br />We kinda nixed the whole KTV thing and went to play pool.<br /><br />Okay part two of this story is kinda digressing the whole Kat/Jacob arc but Cracker's still in it because he did something way awesome!!<br /><br />So we were all playing pool and Jake and me were deciding who was going to be who's wingman when Venus kept staring at this kinda good looking dude with a blue sweater thingie with a shirt and tie. FYI, I hated his hair. Anyway, Venus meant to say she was staring because it looked weird on the dude, a tie and then his aviators hanging on the open button thing. It was a fashion faux pas or something. Then Fuddy asked what was going on and we told her and she thought he was good looking too so Jake and I decided that he was gonna be Venus' wingman and I would be Fuddy's. (Haaaave you met *insert name*)<br /><br />Jing Wen then challenged Jake and said: He's not gonna do it lah he's just a pussy. And Jake stood up and defended himself and all saying he would do it. Then Jing challenged him to say: Tell him I'm gay and I'm interested in him.<br /><br />...<br /><br />Jake did. The guy said okay and it was funny that both Jing and the guy were off their game instantly *LOL*<br />but the damn awesome thing was that Jake ACTUALLY did it!!<br />I think Barney Stinson has effected our favorite cracker :D I don't mind really, he's finally come out. :D (take that in any way you want :D )<br /><br />okay so anyway part three of the story happened when they all went to Fish&Co and like half an hour or so ago, Venus texted me and told me Jake dedicated More Than Words to Kat at F&C!!! OH.EM.GEE!!!<br /><br />Talked to Fuddy and Jing and both credited Jake and both asked me to blog about it so here it is. GOSSIP ALL AROUND TOMORROW PEOPLE!!! rawr :D::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-77929784467019031922009-06-15T14:07:00.002+08:002009-06-15T14:13:30.701+08:00WhippedSchool in an hours time. So friggen lazy to get ready. Didn't get to see Mr C this morning but did get an offline message. Tres sweet. TRES sweet. So I've been smiling like a goofy idiot since like half an hour ago. Yes I'm whipped.<br /><br />...<br /><br />Whatever::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-4633943989218820372009-06-14T13:53:00.000+08:002009-06-14T13:54:27.583+08:00ccbdAlhamdulillah<br /><br />c<br />c<br />b<br />d<br /><br />I love those alphabets::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112361544344164275.post-20338412241044606462009-06-06T23:43:00.003+08:002009-06-07T00:25:24.159+08:00Do Not Read If Bored ^^My cousin asked this of me:<br /><br />"Why the hurry?"<br /><br />If I were to give her a detailed explanation on that small piece of paper, I'd have needed twenty more of that piece of paper to really explain why I was in a hurry.<br /><br />Not so sure but I think I wrote the answer in this very blog...but never mind. I need to remind myself why anyway.<br /><br />*clears throat*<br /><br />Looking at my mother, my sisters, a few of my close friends, some of my teachers, my aunts, my cousins...and all I can think of was how jealous I feel whenever they get to caress their husband's face, cuddle in their arms when they have had a bad day, link their fingers with each other when they step out of their houses and lastly, how jealous I feel that they have someone in their life that they can truly and unconditionally depend on.<br /><br />Yeah yeah, those who believe in women's rights who are reading this please don't bash me. I may sound like some child who has no backbone who needs another person's support in life. So sue me. I am a big believer of marriage. I want to be a young housewife with eleventy seven kids waiting for her husband to come home so that all of us can sit down at the dinner table and eat while talking about our anything under the sun.<br /><br />Some might think I'm naive to think that marriage can guarantee me safety, security, presence of love and belonging. Maybe I am, but why can't I be? I'm a Muslim and I have read countless of Islamic books that foretell peace and love in marriage and I believe that. Happy marriages in my own circle of family and friends are testimony to that as well.<br /><br />Women want to believe that they can take care of themselves but deep down they're always going to feel something missing in their lives and for me...I don't want to miss that little something. I don't want to feel inadequate anymore, if you know what I mean.<br /><br />Why the hurry?<br /><br />Why not? I'm twenty years old. If I were living in the 40s or earlier, I'd be an old maid already.<br />Maybe I just don't want to grow old alone; be the weird aunt my nieces and nephews don't want to sit with because she smells like cats.<br /><br />Meh. I have plenty of reasons but none I can divulge since it's 12 25 am and I am oh so tired.::phoenixnoir::http://www.blogger.com/profile/01753137832203758794noreply@blogger.com14